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Dating: 16 Reasons I Swiped & X’d Your Face on Tinder

I first heard about Tinder, the dating app, a few years back when I saw a super risqué AD on a billboard driving down Sunset Blvd in Hollywood. Someone told me that it was just a hook up site for guys that were not interested in me – just interested in each other. So, I disregarded this little app for quite sometime until a friend suggested I give it a try a few months back. To my surprise there were a lot of guys looking for girls and I threw my hat in the ring. Why not? Right? It really… Continue Reading

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10 Snarky Rules for Dating My Owner: Woofed by Teddy Brewski

dating tips

Happy day after the 4th of July aka July 5, 2014. I am writing to you from HOT Arizona and was supposed to be unpacking these past few days but my AC is non operable, neither toilets are working and I had more than enough creepy crawlies in my place that I had to check into a hotel. There is more to this story and is a contender for the Greatest Hits section but I wanted to post something super cute today. While I am in the process of shuffling clothes, shoes and purses from one area code to another,… Continue Reading

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Top 9 Snarky Tweets, Social Media Funnies & Guydline “Get Lucky” # 69

Funny and snarky

Time flies! Welcome to Guydline post #69 -lets hope this is a lucky number for us all!  Seriously, it feels like I just pulled into Scottsdale, Arizona and I am leaving tomorrow to drive back to LA. These past 5 days flew by but not to worry because I will be back soon-really soon. I am going to change things up a little and get rid of all that trash I told you all about in my B-day post. Happy to share that I am keeping my Birthday present to myself and it will be the BEST present ever. Since… Continue Reading

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My Birthday Date: A Little Ass

Melanysguydlines gets some ass for birthday

It is 7:45PM on my 30ish ish ish Birthday. YEAH ME!  It has not been as snarky as I would have hoped because I am feeling a little under the weather. I am totally sure it has nothing to do with the Madness that ensued in Las Vegas in my last post?? Right? Read it. It’s funny and entertaining.   I did want to say a big “THANK YOU” to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday today and the entire week before! One of my bff’s said she was wondering if she lost her mind when people started wishing… Continue Reading

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Bad Ass Blog Award – Sex, Dating & Relationship WINNER 2014: MelanysGuydlines

Bad Ass Blog Award Sex, Dating & Relationship WINNER 2014: MelanysGuydlines

Happy Birthday to me 10 days early! MelanysGuydlines was nominated and won The 2014 Badass Blog Award in the Sex, Dating and Relationships category! Thank you to all that read, support and voted for me. I really appreciate it and happy that my hard work is being recognized on such an awesome platform. It is even sweeter to know that I was voted on by peers and fans alike with thousands of nominations flooding the Indie Chicks website. Here is my badge! I am going to sport this loud and proud. Wouldn’t you?     It was a good race… Continue Reading

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Win Total $325 from Tego Audio: Wireless Speaker + Power Grid for 3 Winners

Tego audio

Happy almost Memorial Day weekend and the official kick off to summer 2014! I am not sure if my last trip out of town fried my brain from staring at slot machines too long but I thought we still had one more week until my fav BBQ weekend. Well, we don’t and it is here. I better go get my chicken from Costco before they run out. Seriously, I literally just got back from Las Vegas and am leaving my clean clothes and accessories in my suitcase since I will be right back on a plane to rock out to… Continue Reading

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It’s Hot in Here: Snarky Summer Top Picks

ACTTOP Picks

……(Try and say that title fast – I dare you!) Well, time is flying by this year. The older I get the faster it goes. I have been blogging and social media– ing away and now it is post Mother’s Day, a few weeks closer to another 30ish’ish Bday, Father’s Day and my awesome (and patient) parent’s anniversary. If you keep up with me on social media (you should if you don’t because you are missing out on great stuff) you can see that I have been traveling like crazy. But, never fear I am here to combine the best… Continue Reading

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Bikini Time: Enter To Win $165 from Lululemon

I am partnering up with one of my favorite bloggers from HeleneInBetween to give you the opportunity to win $165 to Lululemon so you can make sure that you rock those itsy, bitsy bikinis in style (but please leave the makeup at home)! Read below to enter and win! GOOD LUCK and happy almost summer! Now, all I need is a drink with a little umbrella in it (but not too sweet a drink)…..oh, and a nice travel companion. While you are at it – check out some of the other ladies in the giveaway! Now, get to the gym!… Continue Reading

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Surviving Beverly Hills: Rockstars & Bitches

Earlier this week, I was invited to a schmoozing event in Beverly Hills at the Four Seasons Hotel. I met some exciting people including chatting it up with Shirley Jones and Marty Ingel (just another evening hanging out with an Oscar winner and her comedian husband). They were great and he had me laughing! But, if I had a dollar for every time someone (especially older gentlemen) ask why I am still single or what I do working in social media, I would be filthy, stinking, snarking rich! So, I put Marty to the test and asked if he knows… Continue Reading

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Happy Whatever Holiday You Celebrate Without Me Insulting You!

HACK OFF

I can’t believe it is already hump day, the middle of spring break for you lucky young people, 2 days into the trek through the desert for those who eat unleavened bread, and almost hipity-hopity time! I just bought some Bamboo plants at Lowes (they are good luck plants because they barely need to be watered to survive -this is already good luck in my book) and saw eggs that actually hatch flowers. I want one. I mean I do! How cool -eggs that hatch flowers. I either need sleep or need to get out more if eggs entertain me… Continue Reading

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The Snark Tank: Bull’s Eye vs. Bull Sh*t

The Snark Tank

I get asked, “What does a blogger do?” several times a day. It is shocking to me but some people still have the preconceived notion that bloggers are like digital scrap-bookers, sitting in large walk-in closets with laptops and piles of crate paper creating origami birds and posting them on the Internet for their friends and family to feel obligated to look at. Sure, there are foodie bloggers who are physically unable to stick any morsel of food in their mouth without documenting every moment of the experience (just eat it – don’t share unless I can actually taste the… Continue Reading

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16 Things Not To Do At (Any/Social Media) Conference

1. Not knowing your competition. Know if anyone is dominating your niche in the market. I am 70% sure there may be someone doing what you think you have created. Can’t you hear Drunk Uncle from SNL saying “I’m prrrrrrrreetttttyyyy suuuuuurrrrrree…..” someone is already doing that? Do your research! 2. Do not wear high heels during the day so you look like a wounded stork walking through the hotel. This will make people notice you but not in a good way and then you can’t attend the rest of the conference and have to call in wounded the second day…. Continue Reading

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