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Melanysguydlines joins the Kardashians & Tom Brady on the Lango App!

By on September 12, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky
melanysguydlines on Lango

What do Kim Kardashian, Breaking Bad, Colin Kaepernick, Tom Brady, and Garfield have in common with Melanysguydlines.com (besides being awesome)? First, let me just say what an honor it is to be part of this amazing list. Second, the Lango App has immortalized us all in animation! I guess success can be measured by the amount of animated icons a person has. It is no longer just enough to have your own doll but the Lango App icons are where it is at and I have my very own pack.     What is Lango? Well, it is an App… Continue Reading

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Funny Relationship Stories: Sporty Sports Chick

By on September 4, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

Funny relationship stories come in many creative forms and I am a bit of a whiz at relating most parts of my life back to funny relationship stories. Recently, I was asked by a fellow blogger to write a guest post about being a “sporty chick” and how it relates to my life today. Well, I give funny relationship advice and write about funny relationship stories, but here is a post all about funny life experiences. Of course, I have to relate all of my “sportiness” back to funny relationship stories and what would my post be if it weren’t… Continue Reading

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Las Vegas: Don’t get caught with your pants down or the wrong pair

By on August 9, 2013 in LOL, Snarky
packing tips for guys - no tight pants

This one gave me a laugh while writing because you know it is true. If you don’t, then you need to do a little more gambling, a lot more partying and experience Las Vegas with me (a snarky professional) at least one time. Are you up for that challenge? Sure. I hate packing and unpacking as much as anyone else. But, I need to do it soon as my plane is going to leave with or without my suitcase and all of my unnecessary belongings that somehow creep into my suitcase leaving me with an overweight baggage charge. How does… Continue Reading

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Las Vegas -Insider Track to a Half a Piece of Pie

By on August 5, 2013 in Fans, Snarky
las vegas hangover shirt

Last week was a crazy week for melanysguydlines.com. Facebook and Twitter were on fire! I am so excited to announce that we hit 8100 followers @Melanyb12 and Facebook #8300 likes and counting! If you don’t go there – you should! Also, it was very cool to hear people talking and spreading the word (even if some of my friends are still slow on the go – they will learn or maybe not? I am still looking for a place to return friends. Do you know where I can do that?) On top of all of that, I was asked to… Continue Reading

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Snarky Relationship Tips & Advice: Teddy B Style

By on July 15, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships
snarky relationship tips and advice image

My snarky relationship tips come from my experience with Teddy Brewski. He is better than any boyfriend I have had, any day, because I am his one and only. Here is some snarky relationship advice from a woman who has been through enough guys to provide it to you with certain flair. He does what I tell him. (Well, most of the time). If not, I can throw the leash on him and he is always by my side. If I did that to a boyfriend I would probably get arrested (or be into some really, weird S&M craziness which… Continue Reading

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Snarky Dating Tips and Advice: “Slow & Low That is the Tempo”

By on July 11, 2013 in Relationships
snarky dating tips image

Since now I am somewhat of an authority on snarky dating tips and advice, I thought I would make a little cheat sheet for SOME things that have come up a lot in my dating life. Read these tips and commit them to your brain. Keep them handy and if you ever doubt me – don’t. I have been there, done that and am trying to save you from unpleasant experiences people. K? Take my dating advice! When going on a date you should follow this snarky dating advice….. Consider the source and place where you met your date. Dog… Continue Reading

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Working Relationships in Hollywood: Top 12 things I LOL’d on the Boulevard

By on July 8, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

Each day, I am privileged to witness very strange relationships in Hollywood– oh LA, LA, land! Reviewing this list it is no wonder why I have so many online dating stories and remain single in the land of the stars. I am always surprised or maybe humorously entertained watching the people up and down the Boulevard. With these kinds of observations wouldn’t you want to live here? Or at least stay for a while? Promise you will never be bored and probably remain single as well. Let’s take a look at the top 12 snarky, funny things I was lucky… Continue Reading

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Worst date idea: 4th of July while shoving your face & doing other unattractive things

By on July 4, 2013 in Relationships

Happy Fourth of July to all of my Melanysguydlines.com readers! Thank you for your support and being the best readers ever! A few dating tips for you on this day of fireworks and bad eating! Always remember to stay snarky. Here are few reasons why the Fourth of July is not the best idea for a first date! Take these guydlines and trust me- I have experience in the dating arena (unfortunately). 1. Don’t ever use the pick up line “You want to make fireworks with me?” unless it is on Twitter because you can get away with saying anything… Continue Reading

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Trouble in Online dating part 2,233,557 – Drunk texting at 2AM

By on June 30, 2013 in Relationships

These things only happen to me right? Where do I get rid of my crazy magnet? Online dating is not fun or snarky – again! It sucks. Here is another reason (as if I needed another one). Let me set this up for you – A week ago, I log on to mydatenightmares.com to a really nice email from an equally as nice looking young man (holy shit it is a miracle, right?) So, I do not delay and send my number when he asks for it! And wait…. 1. Nice pics – (no come hither poses on beds or… Continue Reading

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Online Virtual Dating App: At First Sight- will you accept this rose?

By on June 28, 2013 in Relationships

I think I might have to eat my words and try this new dating app from Chris Harrison of “The Bachelor”. You know who he is right? You think he would know a little about dating after doing so many years on that show (which I don’t watch – but my mom loves it???) I obviously (unfortunately) know about dating and online dating nightmares which are not snarky or fun. But, lets weigh my options for trying this new dating app that was launched last week! Something has to work well eventually, right? The new dating app – fittingly called… Continue Reading

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Are you a video star? Enter for your chance to win up to $15,000 in CASH!

By on June 24, 2013 in Goodies

I get a lot of weird PR requests for the blog, Twitter and Facebook and it takes me a long time to go through all of them. Some of them are just ridiculous. Seriously –I will revisit this at another time. Talking about getting requests regarding topics like Hitler, aliens, fat burning wraps, bullying, depression, mental illness and so much more. I mean – do these PR people read my blog? Not snarky and not humorous topics. Do your research PR people. But, no matter how weird the request are I pride myself on replying to each and every one… Continue Reading

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AllTwitter, AllFacebook, All Nerds Part 3: Don’t extinguish my flame

By on June 24, 2013 in Dummies, Snarky

AllTwitter, AllFacebook, All Nerds Part 3: Don’t extinguish my flame For my last and final installment of the AllFacebook AllTwitter Social Media conference I will give a few snarky “guydlines” to the professionals on the panels. They need all the help they can get to try and keep these people attending the conference awake! I know this was a long-winded blog post series but these points needed to be made and I needed to make them! Come on? You know what I am talking about. I am totally OCD, ADD and forgot what the first post was about by now… Continue Reading

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