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Getting A Second Date: The Real Truth Part 2

By on May 5, 2014 in Relationships

And without further ado…..PART 2 to Getting A Second Date: The Real Truth. If you did not read PART 1 – you should! 4. Manners/Doesn’t Know Shit/Full of Shit -She thinks that if she is indecisive and acts like she doesn’t know what to order while at dinner that it makes her date feel more like a man and being courteous to his wallet. Unfortunately, the only thing this does is annoy him and makes him want to jump out the nearest window (which is nearby their “best” table he has so cleverly arranged with the host while being early)…. Continue Reading

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Izola Style: Snarky Flasks & More, Plus Enter to Win

By on May 1, 2014 in Goodies

After wading through tons of emails the past few weeks I came across one from a site that I absolutely love. The items that caught my attention first are the flasks (should not be surprising to any of you because I have to carry my Grey Goose in style). They are super cute, snarky and make a great addition to summer gifts or just as a gift to yourself (because you deserve it). I know I deserve one or five drinks after this nightmarish week I have had. Izola is not like any other run of the mill flask company…. Continue Reading

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Surviving Beverly Hills: Rockstars & Bitches

By on April 24, 2014 in Snarky

Earlier this week, I was invited to a schmoozing event in Beverly Hills at the Four Seasons Hotel. I met some exciting people including chatting it up with Shirley Jones and Marty Ingel (just another evening hanging out with an Oscar winner and her comedian husband). They were great and he had me laughing! But, if I had a dollar for every time someone (especially older gentlemen) ask why I am still single or what I do working in social media, I would be filthy, stinking, snarking rich! So, I put Marty to the test and asked if he knows… Continue Reading

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The Snark Tank: Bull’s Eye vs. Bull Sh*t

By on April 8, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Snarky
The Snark Tank

I get asked, “What does a blogger do?” several times a day. It is shocking to me but some people still have the preconceived notion that bloggers are like digital scrap-bookers, sitting in large walk-in closets with laptops and piles of crate paper creating origami birds and posting them on the Internet for their friends and family to feel obligated to look at. Sure, there are foodie bloggers who are physically unable to stick any morsel of food in their mouth without documenting every moment of the experience (just eat it – don’t share unless I can actually taste the… Continue Reading

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16 Things Not To Do At (Any/Social Media) Conference

By on April 2, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Snarky

1. Not knowing your competition. Know if anyone is dominating your niche in the market. I am 70% sure there may be someone doing what you think you have created. Can’t you hear Drunk Uncle from SNL saying “I’m prrrrrrrreetttttyyyy suuuuuurrrrrree…..” someone is already doing that? Do your research! 2. Do not wear high heels during the day so you look like a wounded stork walking through the hotel. This will make people notice you but not in a good way and then you can’t attend the rest of the conference and have to call in wounded the second day…. Continue Reading

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Oscar Style Bling: Win $427 of Celebrity Looks by Overstock

By on March 18, 2014 in Goodies

Congratulations to our winner for the Official Oscar Gift Bag items by Jan Lewis Designs – Cori W. from MN. YEAH FOR YOU! I want pictures once you receive your kick ass prize. Back from Vegas and even though I was not a big winner this time doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be. I had more luck playing the new board game “Landing Mr. Right” than at the tables or in the bar. The board game was more fun and at least I could date a bunch of different guys at the same time without getting the “whatever happens in Vegas… Continue Reading

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Dating & Sex with Patti Stanger & Perez Hilton for Match.com

By on February 12, 2014 in Relationships

As most of you know, I drove to Arizona a few weeks ago for relaxation and to step away from my keyboard. And….I failed miserably at relaxing plus got a speeding ticket along the way. So, not the most fun trip but, I did take part in a discussion with the Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger and Perez Hilton discussing love, dating and sex findings from Match.com 2014 study. The event looked Ah–mazing in New York and I am bummed that I could not actually be at there in RL. However, I was selected to represent the West Coast blogging community… Continue Reading

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Mel’s Hits & Misses Valentines Day 2014-PART 1

By on February 5, 2014 in Goodies

It is that time of year and since people think I am some sort of  a relationship expert –ish, I have received many awesome and not so awesome product reviews/requests. I wish my dating prospects were as good as some of these items. I hope my chubby, cherub a.k.a. cupid has been going to the shooting range. I will pay for him to have lessons to improve his aim and stop hitting all the asses of assholes. At this point, I would rather have Ted…..ehh Teddy Brewski than any other prospects. Cupid – you listening? 1. Ted Doll (I found… Continue Reading

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Cupids Bullseye: $545 Exclusive ICJUK Giveaway

By on February 3, 2014 in Goodies

Happy pre-Valentines Day (another- Don’t dress like a slut day). If you heard my interview on The Modern Dater, then you know I don’t love this holiday. It is not because I am single and bitter because when I had a hot boyfriend – I hated the holiday. You can ask him? He is probably still sitting in the same chair, with the same shocked looked on his face when I left him at a five star restaurant some years back. People – we do not need Hallmark to tell each other when we should be nice. It should happen… Continue Reading

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Melanysguydlines for a Shorty Award: Blogger

By on January 29, 2014 in Goodies

I need to win a Shorty award because I am short! I am also – funny and snarky….or so I am told. Shorty Awards acknowledge the best is social media and this is right up my alley You know? Snarky is witty but younger and better looking!? This blog is my cathartic outlet and I use laughter as the best medicine. I am so excited and honored to have been nominated over 130 times in the blogger category (even got a few in Comedian but blogger is what I want). Thank you! There are a bunch of other snarky reasons… Continue Reading

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Happy New Year 2014: With or Without Resolutions

By on December 31, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships
Happy New Year 2014: With or Without Resolutions

Happy New Year! Welcome 2014! I am so happy that I am not going to be hung-over, broke, waking up next to a goat or hungry from celebrating getting ripped off on New Years Eve (aka amateur hour). Not sure what the fascination is about going out to celebrate a day in the month of a calendar with 365 days? Yes, I realize that I sound like my parents. Cheers to getting another year older, wiser, and a little bit more in love with my couch. Shouldn’t we celebrate everyday? I know some of you reading this may be drunk,… Continue Reading

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Happy Holidays, Congrats & Giveaways for 2014!

By on December 27, 2013 in Goodies
happy holidays and congrats

Happy “weird days between Christmas and New Years Day where no one is really working” and I missed the memo! I just realized that I have been working for the last two hours without the sweet tunes of Tesla or Ratt in my ears so I am going to make this short and sweet (like Teddy Brewski and I). Congratulations to Laurel from WA! She is the winner of the Kindle Fire HD! I am so stoked for her! Thank you to EVERYONE who entered, supported, commented, liked, followed, and rocked this contest! I am on my way to send… Continue Reading

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