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The Dumbest, Smart Place in the World: The Curse Of Levi’s Stadium

By on November 29, 2014 in Snarky
The Dumbest, Smart Place in the World: The Curse Of Levi’s Stadium

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and enjoyed family, friends, turkey and football! I did but had an experience that I need to share with you because it was too funny not to write about. Here are my tips for the next time you attend a football game on Thanksgiving Day anywhere in the US but especially at Levi’s Stadium in aka the home of the San Francisco 49ers. TIP 1 – When going to the new Levi’s Stadium to watch the SF 49ers play (get beat up) on Thanksgiving day, make sure you take a bus and… Continue Reading

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Don’t Be A Turkey: Vote For Me!

By on November 26, 2014 in Snarky

This year has been absolutely insane for MelanysGuydlines. I can not thank you all enough for supporting me through this snarky journey! It is a labor of love, a lot of hard work, very little sleep and I need an assistant BUT it is all worth it! I mean really  – THANK YOU to all of those that support and those who don’t, what is wrong with you? Don’t worry, I know you will need me sooner or later. I mean, I need new haters because they all like me now. Is that snarky enough for you? I need new… Continue Reading

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Happy Halloween-ie: Dress Like A Slut Day

By on October 31, 2014 in Snarky
Happy Halloweenie - #dresslikeaslutday

Happy Halloween-ie to all of you! Halloween or Hoe-loween has become such a weird and slightly disturbing holiday. I don’t know when it became the norm to feel the need to wear less than ample amount of clothing on October 31st, but most feel the urge to do so. I (think I helped) coin the term “Dress Like A Slut Day” last year during one of my most watched YouTube videos because I am always honest and lets call a spade a spade, right? Now, it is funny (or sad) that #dresslikeaslutday is a hashtag on twitter.   Now, it is… Continue Reading

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Why People Like Memes III: Tired and Lazy

By on October 25, 2014 in Snarky

Yes, I am too tired and lazy to put on pants or makeup in this pic, yet everyone seemed to love it on my Facebook page. But, with a little creativity I can turn a totally innocent and peaceful picture into something snarky. I can’t tell you how many nice comments I got on my new profile pic (thank you) but the reality of the situation is that I was not relaxed or peaceful but stressed from moving. So, apparently I am a good actress but just blew my cover here. That’s ok. If I can’t make fun of myself… Continue Reading

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Why People Love Snarky Memes Part II – Naked & Afraid

By on October 22, 2014 in Snarky
Why people like memes II Naked & Afraid

I am traveling a lot….like, I live out of a suitcase. Too bad Tumi has not created a suitcase for the female over-packer, blogger like myself. My friends think I am a gypsy and I think they are right because I have no idea what zip code I am in -usually. Right now, it is much easier for me to talk in memes. People don’t love to read unless it is 140 characters, give or take a few. Throw in a cute picture or a bright color combined with a snarky saying and you are set. But, it can’t just… Continue Reading

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Spammers Beware: I’m Snarky, Have Social Media & Know How To Use It

By on October 14, 2014 in Snarky
Spammer beware: I have social media an I know how to use it

So, you know those annoying email blasts you get from companies you may have visited once online or given your email address to a million years ago? This includes those sites that magically get your email address without your knowledge. Well, I hate those people. Like as much as I hate telemarketers who call at the crack of dawn waking up my precious Teddy Brewski and me from much needed slumber. Actually, I despise them. Look, if I want to be on your email list – I will let you know. But, if I signed up and don’t want emails… Continue Reading

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Sometimes Don’t You Wonder “Why?” PART II

By on October 9, 2014 in Snarky
Dont you ever wonder why?

I need to do another installment of the “Why” posts because I am ADD and OCD like that and I left out some good questions. My mother always told me that asking “Why” is a sign of intelligence or annoyance depending on how old the person is. So, here we go… Why do people insist on slamming doors? Is it that hard to slowly close a door as a courtesy to others when you are living or residing in a place where others are within a football field radius? Just slowly place the door closed. I heard they work that… Continue Reading

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Win $300 Martian Passport Smartwatch You Can Talk & Listen On

By on October 1, 2014 in Goodies

You may have seen me sporting some new super cool gear on my wrist from Martian Watches. This is the perfect answer for anyone who always has their hands full with kids, dogs, beer or just can’t seem to locate that damn phone in your over sized purse or in wherever. This watch is not just a Smartwatch, it is smarter than all of the guys I have dated in the last year put together. This is not saying much for my taste in men but I have great taste in watches! The line of watches from Martian works both… Continue Reading

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MelanysGuydlines iPhone6 Case & My Own Store On Zazzle

By on September 30, 2014 in Goodies

We have a winner of the Zazzle contest for the iPhone6 case! Congratulations to Karen who told me that she unselfishly and wonderfully is going to gift the case to a friend going through a hard time right now! I think that rocks. Enjoy and keep up that spirit. I wish I had more friends like you. Guess what she is going to put on her friend’s case? She is going to put a picture of her friend’s Pug. Pugs rock! What would you put on your case? I love all of the suggestions on how to customize the iPhone6… Continue Reading

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How Snarky Are You? Quiz

By on September 24, 2014 in Snarky
how snarky are you quiz?

  Take this quiz I created with the help of Riddle App and tell me – How snarky are you? Take this quiz I created with Riddle App & tell me – How snarky are you? Click To Tweet Snark Royalty or just Snarky Junior? Everyone’s got a bit of snarky in him or her. Put your personality to the test. We will break down your inner snark and let you know where you reside in Snarkland! That may even be too much mention of the “S” word for me. Snark Royalty or just Snarky Junior? Everyone’s got a bit… Continue Reading

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Snarky Tales: Humor From a Girl With A Dog & A Blog

By on September 19, 2014 in Snarky
Snarky Tales from a girl with a dog and a blog

So, I am super proud of this: My first online publication on Issuu! It was hard to pick which posts should be included in this installation so I went with a bunch of my greatest hits. Hope you like it because I laughed re-reading these. I can’t believe these have all happened to me, but they have. Sit back, relax, grab a drinky-poo and enjoy! BTW – The easiest part of creating this magazine was the name: Snarky Tales: Humor From A Girl With A Dog & A Blog Snarky Tales: Humor From A Girl With A Dog & A… Continue Reading

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Tinder for Shoes? Shoe Swipe

By on September 15, 2014 in Goodies

We all know that I have been on Tinder a time or 100 and for some reason no matter how many not so great guys I have met on there, I go back for more. It is addicting. Like gambling, but I am ready to get lucky….get your mind out of the gutter. I am ready to get lucky….get your mind out of the gutter. Click To Tweet It is so fun showing people Tinder and how easy it is to just x out someone’s face like yelling “NEXT” at… Continue Reading

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