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Top 9 Snarky Tweets, Social Media Funnies & Guydline “Get Lucky” # 69

By on June 23, 2014 in Snarky
Funny and snarky

Time flies! Welcome to Guydline post #69 -lets hope this is a lucky number for us all!  Seriously, it feels like I just pulled into Scottsdale, Arizona and I am leaving tomorrow to drive back to LA. These past 5 days flew by but not to worry because I will be back soon-really soon. I am going to change things up a little and get rid of all that trash I told you all about in my B-day post. Happy to share that I am keeping my Birthday present to myself and it will be the BEST present ever. Since… Continue Reading

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Dating & Relationships in Hollywood (Hollyweird): So Cliché, But This Is LA

By on June 17, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Relationships
Dating & Relationships in Hollywood (Hollyweird): So Cliché, But This Is LA

People always ask me how I decide what to write in my blog posts. It is sad to say but there is no lack of bad dating or “frienemy” stories of the past, present, (and am sure the future -at the rate I am going). All I really need to do is look in my backyard at this crazy world to start typing away on my laptop. If I could have a podcast recording device attached to my brain of what I really think in daily life navigating the over-packed and even bumpier roads on the way to my office… Continue Reading

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My Birthday Date: A Little Ass

By on June 12, 2014 in Snarky
Melanysguydlines gets some ass for birthday

It is 7:45PM on my 30ish ish ish Birthday. YEAH ME!  It has not been as snarky as I would have hoped because I am feeling a little under the weather. I am totally sure it has nothing to do with the Madness that ensued in Las Vegas in my last post?? Right? Read it. It’s funny and entertaining.   I did want to say a big “THANK YOU” to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday today and the entire week before! One of my bff’s said she was wondering if she lost her mind when people started wishing… Continue Reading

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Relationship Status: Viva La “Rock N’ Roll” Vegas

By on June 11, 2014 in Snarky

I just got back from Las Vegas and my Birthday is tomorrow so I thought I would do a review in pics and video for you snarky people. Isn’t it so much fun to view the madness in living color? Here goes. The first night in Las Vegas, I went Beacher’s Madhouse at the MGM with a friend who lives in Sin City. Please note, that she has a little bit of a fear (not of clowns) but of little people. I’ll let the pics do the talking! I recommend going to this club, which is super popular with celebs,… Continue Reading

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Do-Do’s & Don’ts of Dating: Don’t Pee On My Parade

By on June 3, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Relationships
Do-Do’s & Don’ts of Dating: Don’t Pee On My Parade

Since I did win in the Sex, Dating and Relationships category yesterday I thought I would share with you a funny ditty. Here goes…. You know how bad and non-existent dating is in the city of angels because I have told you over and over again. So, why not import someone? I did just that with my last tour mate. He hailed from the desert and we had known each other for quite sometime so I thought that this could be a real keeper until our last rendez vous ended in disaster somewhere between the Boulevard of Broken Dreams and… Continue Reading

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Bad Ass Blog Award – Sex, Dating & Relationship WINNER 2014: MelanysGuydlines

By on June 2, 2014 in Relationships
Bad Ass Blog Award Sex, Dating & Relationship WINNER 2014: MelanysGuydlines

Happy Birthday to me 10 days early! MelanysGuydlines was nominated and won The 2014 Badass Blog Award in the Sex, Dating and Relationships category! Thank you to all that read, support and voted for me. I really appreciate it and happy that my hard work is being recognized on such an awesome platform. It is even sweeter to know that I was voted on by peers and fans alike with thousands of nominations flooding the Indie Chicks website. Here is my badge! I am going to sport this loud and proud. Wouldn’t you?     It was a good race… Continue Reading

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Memorial Day 2014

By on May 26, 2014 in Relationships

Memorial Day 2014. Remember that today is about more than BBQ’s and pool parties. Today is a day to remember and thank all of those who have served and continue to serve the United States of America. I am grateful everyday to live in the land of the free and the home of the brave. So, if you know someone that served or is currently serving to provide you with all of the freedom we sometimes take for granted – remember, a thank you goes a long way! Enjoy the rest of this holiday and be safe out there while… Continue Reading

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Bringing Sexy Back: Enter & Win $190 Love Massage Box from Hello Cheri

By on May 7, 2014 in Goodies
Love and MAssage Box -

I always say I will never post anything on the blog that will embarrass my parents or I will look back in a few years and want to crawl under a table from OMG syndrome. With that said, I am all about finding love and cherishing the one you love (if I could ever find him-where is he hiding???) I also don’t think you need one specific day to show your partner that you love them like the Hallmark holiday of Valentines Day. You should appreciate each other every day and no one should tell you when, where and why…. Continue Reading

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Getting A Second Date: The Real Truth Part 2

By on May 5, 2014 in Relationships

And without further ado…..PART 2 to Getting A Second Date: The Real Truth. If you did not read PART 1 – you should! 4. Manners/Doesn’t Know Shit/Full of Shit -She thinks that if she is indecisive and acts like she doesn’t know what to order while at dinner that it makes her date feel more like a man and being courteous to his wallet. Unfortunately, the only thing this does is annoy him and makes him want to jump out the nearest window (which is nearby their “best” table he has so cleverly arranged with the host while being early)…. Continue Reading

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Getting a Second Date: The Real Truth

By on April 28, 2014 in Relationships

  So, you want to know how to get a second date? Before you can “want” a second date you need to successfully survive and impress on the first one, right? I am willing to bet that no one willingly goes out on first dates just to go on one date. First dates are awkward no matter how drunk you get (and that could lead to a more awkward second date but that is a different post). They are by far one of the most uncomfortable situations so it is fair to assume most of us go on a first… Continue Reading

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Surviving Beverly Hills: Rockstars & Bitches

By on April 24, 2014 in Snarky

Earlier this week, I was invited to a schmoozing event in Beverly Hills at the Four Seasons Hotel. I met some exciting people including chatting it up with Shirley Jones and Marty Ingel (just another evening hanging out with an Oscar winner and her comedian husband). They were great and he had me laughing! But, if I had a dollar for every time someone (especially older gentlemen) ask why I am still single or what I do working in social media, I would be filthy, stinking, snarking rich! So, I put Marty to the test and asked if he knows… Continue Reading

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Online Dating Nightmare #1,199

By on April 21, 2014 in Relationships

Hope you all had more fun than I did yesterday. As some of you know, a virus has totally infected AOL in their server. Before, you make some smart-ass comment let me say that I have had AOL since I was 15. It was “MelB” but I hated the spice girls so that was not the premise behind the username. Anyway, I HIGHLY suggest you change passwords and keep up to date with old emails or accounts on websites. For the average person, this is annoying. For me it is a nightmare! Obviously, working in social media means I have… Continue Reading

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