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Get Some Satisfaction: Win $100 Official USA Network’s “Satisfaction” Kit

win USA network kit worth $100

What gives you satisfaction? Do you measure your satisfaction by job success? Wealth? Love? Happiness? I think most of us would agree with Mick Jager when he sings “I can’t get no satisfaction” in life. Achieving satisfaction is harder than ever these days with the advent of technology. I am not talking getting to the next level of Candy Crush but I am talking about communication. Text messages, emails and non-verbal communication lead to many issues interpersonal relationships never experienced before (like mine). Like life was not complicated enough – now, we need to read between the lines and guess… Continue Reading

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Dating Warnings: The Shirt Test

Dating warning: The shirt test

I have learned a few things navigating the dangerous shark infested dating waters along the West Coast and that is make sure you date a guy before, on and after the first of the month to make sure he sticks around for another month. Don’t get too close too fast because you never really know who or what you are dealing with. Just like the infamous “Dear John” who boasted that he created DSL and walked on water when in reality he couldn’t afford a bottle of Evian and slept on his sisters couch.  the infamous “Dear John” who boasted… Continue Reading

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Win $150 Total from Zazzle: Including Customizable iPhone 6 Case

It was raining cats and dogs today and I swear I stepped on a poodle. WOOF. It was raining cats and dogs today and I swear I stepped on a poodle. WOOF. Click To Tweet But, if you followed me last week you know that I was having a crazy (good) week! Hope you did too. There are many fun opportunities happening at MelanysGuydlines and I have to share the latest with all of you. Just last week I was sent the cutest thank you gift from Riddle App – Look! Love it! They personalized the mug as a gift… Continue Reading

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Social Media Galore: Jump In With Me For #MediaChat on Twitter

Join me for #mediachat and how to stand out amoungst the crowd with a blog and social media channels

Today is a great day (well, besides the dating life part – lol) because I’m honored to be the guest on Aaron Kilby’s #MediaChat. I met Aaron via twitter and his invitation is truly a testament to the overwhelming support of my social media network no matter what zip code I reside. Twitter followers are the best and more supportive than most of my RL friends. I am happy to call Aaron a RL and Twitter friend now. Remember that post I did about getting social for the Cox Communication #CoxGigLife event at the Diamondbacks game? This was the first… Continue Reading

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Digital Pen Pals: Online Dating Time Wasters

Digital Pen Pals: Online Dating Time Wasters

Social Media rocks and advances in technology are cool but it is killing my dating life. I can’t remember the last time a guy actually picked up the phone and called me. Also, what is the deal with online dating and guys just wanting to be just texting or email pals? I have enough pals-PAL.  what is the deal with online dating and guys just wanting to be just texting or email pals? I have enough pals-PAL. Click To Tweet If we have been talking via the computer or some other typing device I want to meet before Teddy Brewski… Continue Reading

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Guydlines for a Fun Labor Day Weekend

labor day fun

For most of you, it is a long weekend. For social media people, it is never a weekend. Social Media never sleeps and as you all know – neither do I. But, I am promising myself that this weekend will be different. I am a liar. But, I am going to TRY really hard. You read it here first and I hate to let you down. At least I am tired this time from doing so many new things. I am “re-tired” after looking at all the pics I wanted to include in this post so let me try and… Continue Reading

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Run For Your Life: It’s A Singles Event

singles events and dating

Once upon a time there was a blonde, single girl who was a great catch but could not meet anyone normal so she decided to put on her big girl panties, black eyeliner, 6inch Louis Vuitton heels and try something new. Yes, the Louis may have been a little much for the 115 degree Arizona heat but she wanted to wear them so she did.  After getting lost in a second parking lot that week she arrives at her final destination, which is a group of young, active, singles looking to meet people just like them. And…. STOP right there…. Continue Reading

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Some Days Don’t You Just Ask Yourself “Why”?

dont you ask yourself why

……over and over? “I don’t get it”. I think I say that phrase more than any other phrase besides “I am tired”. Seriously, I am traveling through this world wondering why so many parents have dropped their children on their heads, more than once with, all the stupid shit I observe people doing on an hourly basis. They should provide gloves laced with glue for prevention of parental dropping of children once your babies are handed over from the Doctor. Why don’t people need to have licenses to have children? This is a great question. I just don’t get it…. Continue Reading

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Get On The Good Foot: Observations from a Rocker

Get on the Good Foot by James Brown is my jam

I learned a few things this weekend. 1. Melany is a very popular porn star name and I know this because when Google-ing my name (with the letter “Y” at the end) you will not find it on a Coke bottle, key chain but will find that it is a chosen name for a lot of porn stars. Just look at the images. Google it. See me in the midst of those women. Yeah. So, mom has looked into changing this melodic spelling for me legally. I will keep you updated. DISCLAIMER: I am not a porn star. Melanys is… Continue Reading

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Funny Sayings That Make You Go HUH? In The Night

funny old saying

I was sitting at a bar last night, drinking my goose and soda while Bret Michaels sang to me, “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” and I wondered what the hell is he talking about because roses have way more than just one thorn? The cliché sayings that sound beautiful screeched in a high pitch tone, out of longhaired rocker’s mouths don’t always make sense. Yet, we sing and say things like these all the time. We use weird sayings to make sense of situations when we don’t understand or can’t explain what the hell is going on in any other way. Old sayings have been around forever and still apply today because people are weird and do stupid shit. History repeats itself (and there is another one) but so do stupid people who do stupid things so these terms come in handy. Here are some sayings and the immediate random thoughts that populate in the squishy, overthinking, ADD and OCD thing between my ears. -Karma is a bitch! So am I. But, if she is such a bitch – where has she been hiding… Continue Reading

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Read These Tweets While You Sheet

snarky tweets

Twitter. You do it, get it, are addicted to it and prefer it to Facebook or you are scared of it because you don’t know “how” to tweet. For some reason, Twitter is like the Chupacabra of social media conquering. It is like an endless labyrinth and David Bowie may live there but I haven’t followed him yet. One of the most common questions people ask me is can I “teach” them how to tweet. Really? Do you have thoughts in your brain? Good. Then, sit down, sign up and tweet whatever is in your head. Find things you like… Continue Reading

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Dating: 16 Reasons I Swiped & X’d Your Face on Tinder

I first heard about Tinder, the dating app, a few years back when I saw a super risqué AD on a billboard driving down Sunset Blvd in Hollywood. Someone told me that it was just a hook up site for guys that were not interested in me – just interested in each other. So, I disregarded this little app for quite sometime until a friend suggested I give it a try a few months back. To my surprise there were a lot of guys looking for girls and I threw my hat in the ring. Why not? Right? It really… Continue Reading

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