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“Welcome to the Jungle”-which one?

After successfully arriving in Arizona for a much-deserved vacay with Teddy Brewski, I feel compelled to write another post about long distance driving trips and the people who inhabit the armpit towns along the way since my last post on this topic was so controversial to some of my readers. This post is especially aimed at the citizens residing in the desert towns between Los Angeles and Phoenix. What in the hell is going on in these places that people look as if they have never seen a mirror in their entire lives? Every time I enter these truck stops… Continue Reading

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Happy Halloween aka Dress like a slut day!

happy dress like a slut day

Ho Ho Ho – Don’t be a Ho on Halloween. It is not cute. For this blog post I am going to break down what to wear and what not to wear on Halloween in my YouTube video. I mean, if you are a slut you do not need to wait for Halloween to dress like one. But, please spare me the bikini tops when you are flat as a board unless you are signaling Ms. Miley Cyrus. Also, in this video I will address the well known “frienemy” epidemic which plagues most women. Don’t be one of them! Watch,… Continue Reading

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Online Dating: What Not To Do (Again & Again)

You all know that I have a plethora of online dating nightmare stories and it has not stopped but I have limited my reporting on such ridiculousness because it is depressing quite frankly. This one – I need to get off my chest. Please don’t make these mistakes while online dating or you will end up in the online dating nightmare category, which I should create on this here blog. The following are texts messages from a potential suitor from Sept 22, 2013 – Oct. 10, 2013 that went unanswered by me (I did answer the first week  but he… Continue Reading

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The Hollywood Man: Hot, but Not Into Me

Just in case you missed my latest YouTube video  – here it is! Let me offer you the real perspective on a Hollywood club. They are not the greatest places to meet men unless you are in fact, a man. There are a lot of hot guys but they are either: A. More interested at looking at themselves in the mirror B. More interested at looking at each other It is so frustrating. Oh and BTW – what was the name of that movie where Lily Tomlin is a small person? **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Online Dating Advice: Felony Melany Style

Melany Felony Online dating tips

It was a rainy day here in Los Angeles so I decided to play with YouTube a little more. There are so many instructional videos for your instructional video on how to make a YouTube video. They tell you what to do, what not to do, what lighting to use, that you should stand on your head and play a tuba while blowing another bubble out of your ass, wear a donkey suit with a big clown nose down to what to say and what not to say. It is overwhelming to say the least so I just say what… Continue Reading

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Get Seriously Friendly: Say Hello & Grab Yourself a Date

hello oral care products to get a date

  It is Rocktober people and I want to encourage you to get back into the dating game this fall. If you are a little rusty let me offer you a “guydline” so that you can break the ice and not look like you are trying too hard. If batting your eyelashes, sticking out your chest, and giving a come hither stare does not work in getting you potential date’s attention then I suggest a few things. Pick a body part that you like and compliment his (get out the gutter ladies) eyes. Tell them they are as blue as… Continue Reading

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Not a Certified Relationship Expert: Going Certifiably Insane Dating!

Not a Certified Relationship Expert: Going Certifiably Insane Dating!

Since I started writing this blog, many people ask me so many questions regarding relationships, dating and online dating. I never said I was a certified expert in dating or relationships but I have a hell of a lot of experience in this arena (unfortunately)! I have dated every idiot from the top to the bottom of California (a little in Arizona, Washington, Texas, Florida and New York but who is keeping track?) and am looking for someone to save me from the horrible dating party and online dating predicament I am in! I am not a certified relationship expert… Continue Reading

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Melanysguydlines on YouTube – Snarky, Golden Nuggets of Twitter

Melanysguydline You tube

Hello people! So, I always said that I would never be in front of the camera. Well, I lied. I will admit it when I do. If I can’t criticize and make fun of myself then I should not be writing this snarky blog. Should I? I admit that my dating mishaps and relationship blunders are a good reason that I was given this outlet to spout, so why not put a face and voice to my golden nuggets of “guydlines” for you? Right? Welcome to the Melanysguydlines snarky world of YouTube. I am excited to show you this first try… Continue Reading

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Funny Dating Advice: Tips From The Blogging Trenches

blogging isnt easy and dating isnt easy

Blogging is a lot like a relationship. There are many things to learn and it does not come easy. (Maybe I need to listen to my funny dating advice and learn from my own relationship tips-just a thought?) Anyway, blogging doesn’t just consist of writing alone just like dating does not consist of going out to dinner with no desert. Blogging and social media are very special relationships. Each blog and social medium has unique characteristics, which make him or her one of a kind and special. Special, like the way you are supposed make your date feel. Not all… Continue Reading

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Why Do People Like Memes? | Top 19 Reasons Why Memes Are Popular

jealousy meme

MEMES – people love them!!! What is a meme? These are the “snarky” & funny pictures I post on Facebook, Twitter, Social Media and this blog. We are all a bit lazy (not you of course) and need instant gratification whether it is in work, relationships, dating, or even our social media consumption. Most people don’t like to read, so putting a thumbs up on a meme is so much easier than doing anything else like uh, ……reading? It’s ok – my Facebook wouldn’t be as fun without them. I have noticed some trends with the meme community. People love… Continue Reading

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Under the Sheets with Antonio Sabato Jr. 2013: Relationship & Dating Tips Interview

Antonio Sabato Jr. relationship tips Interview with melanysguydlines 2013

Being a funny relationship blogger and dating advice giver, I am presented with various opportunities. Most of these things are ridiculous and barely make it into my inbox. But, I was given the chance to interview a total babe and of course I took it. You never know who you are going to meet or where, right? So, when I received an email from Antonio Sabato Jr.’s people of course I jumped at the opportunity to interview him regarding his new venture as a relationship blogger and online dating guru. “Enter celebrity serial dater turned online flirting guru, Antonio Sabato… Continue Reading

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Funny Relationship Stories: Sporty Sports Chick

Funny relationship stories come in many creative forms and I am a bit of a whiz at relating most parts of my life back to funny relationship stories. Recently, I was asked by a fellow blogger to write a guest post about being a “sporty chick” and how it relates to my life today. Well, I give funny relationship advice and write about funny relationship stories, but here is a post all about funny life experiences. Of course, I have to relate all of my “sportiness” back to funny relationship stories and what would my post be if it weren’t… Continue Reading

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