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How Snarky Are You? Quiz

how snarky are you quiz?

  Take this quiz I created with the help of Riddle App and tell me – How snarky are you? Take this quiz I created with Riddle App & tell me – How snarky are you? Click To Tweet Snark Royalty or just Snarky Junior? Everyone’s got a bit of snarky in him or her. Put your personality to the test. We will break down your inner snark and let you know where you reside in Snarkland! That may even be too much mention of the “S” word for me. Snark Royalty or just Snarky Junior? Everyone’s got a bit… Continue Reading

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Snarky Tales: Humor From a Girl With A Dog & A Blog

Snarky Tales from a girl with a dog and a blog

So, I am super proud of this: My first online publication on Issuu! It was hard to pick which posts should be included in this installation so I went with a bunch of my greatest hits. Hope you like it because I laughed re-reading these. I can’t believe these have all happened to me, but they have. Sit back, relax, grab a drinky-poo and enjoy! BTW – The easiest part of creating this magazine was the name: Snarky Tales: Humor From A Girl With A Dog & A Blog Snarky Tales: Humor From A Girl With A Dog & A… Continue Reading

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Tinder for Shoes? Shoe Swipe

We all know that I have been on Tinder a time or 100 and for some reason no matter how many not so great guys I have met on there, I go back for more. It is addicting. Like gambling, but I am ready to get lucky….get your mind out of the gutter. I am ready to get lucky….get your mind out of the gutter. Click To Tweet It is so fun showing people Tinder and how easy it is to just x out someone’s face like yelling “NEXT” at… Continue Reading

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Get Some Satisfaction: Win $100 Official USA Network’s “Satisfaction” Kit

win USA network kit worth $100

What gives you satisfaction? Do you measure your satisfaction by job success? Wealth? Love? Happiness? I think most of us would agree with Mick Jager when he sings “I can’t get no satisfaction” in life. Achieving satisfaction is harder than ever these days with the advent of technology. I am not talking getting to the next level of Candy Crush but I am talking about communication. Text messages, emails and non-verbal communication lead to many issues interpersonal relationships never experienced before (like mine). Like life was not complicated enough – now, we need to read between the lines and guess… Continue Reading

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Win $150 Total from Zazzle: Including Customizable iPhone 6 Case

It was raining cats and dogs today and I swear I stepped on a poodle. WOOF. It was raining cats and dogs today and I swear I stepped on a poodle. WOOF. Click To Tweet But, if you followed me last week you know that I was having a crazy (good) week! Hope you did too. There are many fun opportunities happening at MelanysGuydlines and I have to share the latest with all of you. Just last week I was sent the cutest thank you gift from Riddle App – Look! Love it! They personalized the mug as a gift… Continue Reading

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Guydlines for a Fun Labor Day Weekend

labor day fun

For most of you, it is a long weekend. For social media people, it is never a weekend. Social Media never sleeps and as you all know – neither do I. But, I am promising myself that this weekend will be different. I am a liar. But, I am going to TRY really hard. You read it here first and I hate to let you down. At least I am tired this time from doing so many new things. I am “re-tired” after looking at all the pics I wanted to include in this post so let me try and… Continue Reading

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Get On The Good Foot: Observations from a Rocker

Get on the Good Foot by James Brown is my jam

I learned a few things this weekend. 1. Melany is a very popular porn star name and I know this because when Google-ing my name (with the letter “Y” at the end) you will not find it on a Coke bottle, key chain but will find that it is a chosen name for a lot of porn stars. Just look at the images. Google it. See me in the midst of those women. Yeah. So, mom has looked into changing this melodic spelling for me legally. I will keep you updated. DISCLAIMER: I am not a porn star. Melanys is… Continue Reading

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I Got Social Last Night

#digeez

I went to my first Diamondbacks game last night courtesy of Cox Communication and CoxGiglife. I was invited by a person I follow on twitter and you know you are not in Los Angeles any more when you get invited to an event like that and they actually make it happen! It rocked but I have no more #hashtags to give for at least a few days.  Don’t quote me because that is a lie. Social Media events are always funny because everyone has to get their tweets or facebook posts in before everyone else. I am included in this… Continue Reading

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Funny Sayings That Make You Go HUH? In The Night

funny old saying

I was sitting at a bar last night, drinking my goose and soda while Bret Michaels sang to me, “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” and I wondered what the hell is he talking about because roses have way more than just one thorn? The cliché sayings that sound beautiful screeched in a high pitch tone, out of longhaired rocker’s mouths don’t always make sense. Yet, we sing and say things like these all the time. We use weird sayings to make sense of situations when we don’t understand or can’t explain what the hell is going on in any other way. Old sayings have been around forever and still apply today because people are weird and do stupid shit. History repeats itself (and there is another one) but so do stupid people who do stupid things so these terms come in handy. Here are some sayings and the immediate random thoughts that populate in the squishy, overthinking, ADD and OCD thing between my ears. -Karma is a bitch! So am I. But, if she is such a bitch – where has she been hiding… Continue Reading

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Read These Tweets While You Sheet

snarky tweets

Twitter. You do it, get it, are addicted to it and prefer it to Facebook or you are scared of it because you don’t know “how” to tweet. For some reason, Twitter is like the Chupacabra of social media conquering. It is like an endless labyrinth and David Bowie may live there but I haven’t followed him yet. One of the most common questions people ask me is can I “teach” them how to tweet. Really? Do you have thoughts in your brain? Good. Then, sit down, sign up and tweet whatever is in your head. Find things you like… Continue Reading

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Got Wrinkles? Win $290 of Nerium AD Face & Body Firm Cream

WIn Nerium AD

Got wrinkles? There is an app for that and Melanysguydlines has an exclusive opportunity for you to get rid of your wrinkles without sticking needles in your face. People always card me and I tell them to limit their botox consumption because too much of anything is not a good look. Talking to you Mr. Manilow and Mrs. Kidman. But, after my moving ordeal with Jiminy, I felt like I was looking a little “worked” and worn out. My friend told me about this cream she was using on her face to reduce wrinkles, fine lines, redness and sent me… Continue Reading

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Dating: 16 Reasons I Swiped & X’d Your Face on Tinder

I first heard about Tinder, the dating app, a few years back when I saw a super risqué AD on a billboard driving down Sunset Blvd in Hollywood. Someone told me that it was just a hook up site for guys that were not interested in me – just interested in each other. So, I disregarded this little app for quite sometime until a friend suggested I give it a try a few months back. To my surprise there were a lot of guys looking for girls and I threw my hat in the ring. Why not? Right? It really… Continue Reading

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