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Don’t Be A Turkey: Vote For Me!

By on November 26, 2014 in Snarky

This year has been absolutely insane for MelanysGuydlines. I can not thank you all enough for supporting me through this snarky journey! It is a labor of love, a lot of hard work, very little sleep and I need an assistant BUT it is all worth it! I mean really  – THANK YOU to all of those that support and those who don’t, what is wrong with you? Don’t worry, I know you will need me sooner or later. I mean, I need new haters because they all like me now. Is that snarky enough for you? I need new… Continue Reading

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Yakety-Yack: Talkin’ Behind Your Back

By on November 5, 2014 in Snarky
Yakety-Yack: Talkin’ Behind Your Back

Life is so strange. As soon as you are up something may knock you down. I am not talking about physically (yet some hangovers can be worse than others). What I am talking about is when you hear a rumor about yourself that you never knew before a.k.a. someone is talking behind your back? Why do people do this? Jealousy? Envy? Nothing better to do? No life? Needs (more) friends. Needs a better job. Needs to get on more social media. I am not one to shy away from contacting people straight away when I hear my name in other… Continue Reading

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Happy Halloween-ie: Dress Like A Slut Day

By on October 31, 2014 in Snarky
Happy Halloweenie - #dresslikeaslutday

Happy Halloween-ie to all of you! Halloween or Hoe-loween has become such a weird and slightly disturbing holiday. I don’t know when it became the norm to feel the need to wear less than ample amount of clothing on October 31st, but most feel the urge to do so. I (think I helped) coin the term “Dress Like A Slut Day” last year during one of my most watched YouTube videos because I am always honest and lets call a spade a spade, right? Now, it is funny (or sad) that #dresslikeaslutday is a hashtag on twitter.   Now, it is… Continue Reading

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Why People Like Memes III: Tired and Lazy

By on October 25, 2014 in Snarky

Yes, I am too tired and lazy to put on pants or makeup in this pic, yet everyone seemed to love it on my Facebook page. But, with a little creativity I can turn a totally innocent and peaceful picture into something snarky. I can’t tell you how many nice comments I got on my new profile pic (thank you) but the reality of the situation is that I was not relaxed or peaceful but stressed from moving. So, apparently I am a good actress but just blew my cover here. That’s ok. If I can’t make fun of myself… Continue Reading

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Why People Love Snarky Memes Part II – Naked & Afraid

By on October 22, 2014 in Snarky
Why people like memes II Naked & Afraid

I am traveling a lot….like, I live out of a suitcase. Too bad Tumi has not created a suitcase for the female over-packer, blogger like myself. My friends think I am a gypsy and I think they are right because I have no idea what zip code I am in -usually. Right now, it is much easier for me to talk in memes. People don’t love to read unless it is 140 characters, give or take a few. Throw in a cute picture or a bright color combined with a snarky saying and you are set. But, it can’t just… Continue Reading

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Spammers Beware: I’m Snarky, Have Social Media & Know How To Use It

By on October 14, 2014 in Snarky
Spammer beware: I have social media an I know how to use it

So, you know those annoying email blasts you get from companies you may have visited once online or given your email address to a million years ago? This includes those sites that magically get your email address without your knowledge. Well, I hate those people. Like as much as I hate telemarketers who call at the crack of dawn waking up my precious Teddy Brewski and me from much needed slumber. Actually, I despise them. Look, if I want to be on your email list – I will let you know. But, if I signed up and don’t want emails… Continue Reading

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Sometimes Don’t You Wonder “Why?” PART II

By on October 9, 2014 in Snarky
Dont you ever wonder why?

I need to do another installment of the “Why” posts because I am ADD and OCD like that and I left out some good questions. My mother always told me that asking “Why” is a sign of intelligence or annoyance depending on how old the person is. So, here we go… Why do people insist on slamming doors? Is it that hard to slowly close a door as a courtesy to others when you are living or residing in a place where others are within a football field radius? Just slowly place the door closed. I heard they work that… Continue Reading

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How Snarky Are You? Quiz

By on September 24, 2014 in Snarky
how snarky are you quiz?

  Take this quiz I created with the help of Riddle App and tell me – How snarky are you? Take this quiz I created with Riddle App & tell me – How snarky are you? Click To Tweet Snark Royalty or just Snarky Junior? Everyone’s got a bit of snarky in him or her. Put your personality to the test. We will break down your inner snark and let you know where you reside in Snarkland! That may even be too much mention of the “S” word for me. Snark Royalty or just Snarky Junior? Everyone’s got a bit… Continue Reading

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Snarky Tales: Humor From a Girl With A Dog & A Blog

By on September 19, 2014 in Snarky
Snarky Tales from a girl with a dog and a blog

So, I am super proud of this: My first online publication on Issuu! It was hard to pick which posts should be included in this installation so I went with a bunch of my greatest hits. Hope you like it because I laughed re-reading these. I can’t believe these have all happened to me, but they have. Sit back, relax, grab a drinky-poo and enjoy! BTW – The easiest part of creating this magazine was the name: Snarky Tales: Humor From A Girl With A Dog & A Blog Snarky Tales: Humor From A Girl With A Dog & A… Continue Reading

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21 Things I Can’t Travel Without

By on September 12, 2014 in Snarky
21 Things I Can’t Travel Without

If you have been keeping up with me that is better than what I am doing. I was actually in one place for longer than two months in July and August and my suitcase called to tell me that he needed a workout, so I obliged. People always tell me I need to put roots down but every time I try to put down the anchor other things pop up in my schedule that need to be attended to for work. Just this week, I traveled from Scottsdale, AZ to Beverly Hills, CA and then next week I will travel… Continue Reading

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Guydlines for a Fun Labor Day Weekend

By on August 29, 2014 in Snarky
labor day fun

For most of you, it is a long weekend. For social media people, it is never a weekend. Social Media never sleeps and as you all know – neither do I. But, I am promising myself that this weekend will be different. I am a liar. But, I am going to TRY really hard. You read it here first and I hate to let you down. At least I am tired this time from doing so many new things. I am “re-tired” after looking at all the pics I wanted to include in this post so let me try and… Continue Reading

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Some Days Don’t You Just Ask Yourself “Why”?

By on August 15, 2014 in Snarky
dont you ask yourself why

……over and over? “I don’t get it”. I think I say that phrase more than any other phrase besides “I am tired”. Seriously, I am traveling through this world wondering why so many parents have dropped their children on their heads, more than once with, all the stupid shit I observe people doing on an hourly basis. They should provide gloves laced with glue for prevention of parental dropping of children once your babies are handed over from the Doctor. Why don’t people need to have licenses to have children? This is a great question. I just don’t get it…. Continue Reading

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