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Funny Relationship Stories: Sporty Sports Chick

By on September 4, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

Funny relationship stories come in many creative forms and I am a bit of a whiz at relating most parts of my life back to funny relationship stories. Recently, I was asked by a fellow blogger to write a guest post about being a “sporty chick” and how it relates to my life today. Well, I give funny relationship advice and write about funny relationship stories, but here is a post all about funny life experiences. Of course, I have to relate all of my “sportiness” back to funny relationship stories and what would my post be if it weren’t… Continue Reading

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Zynga Sparks Relationships by Gaming

By on July 23, 2013 in Relationships
zynga sparks relationships by gaming marriage proposal

When I was younger, I used to play games all the time and always had boyfriends or involved in a dating relationship. I had funny relationship advice and relationships stories of some kind because I was always in a relationship! Now, I seem to have bad dating stories or online dating horror stories. Being young and finding potential dates was much easier than it is today. If I wasn’t competing in sports outside hitting or kicking balls, you could find me inside dribbling or volleying other types of balls. All the best looking guys played sports too. I do have… Continue Reading

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Snarky Relationship Tips & Advice: Teddy B Style

By on July 15, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships
snarky relationship tips and advice image

My snarky relationship tips come from my experience with Teddy Brewski. He is better than any boyfriend I have had, any day, because I am his one and only. Here is some snarky relationship advice from a woman who has been through enough guys to provide it to you with certain flair. He does what I tell him. (Well, most of the time). If not, I can throw the leash on him and he is always by my side. If I did that to a boyfriend I would probably get arrested (or be into some really, weird S&M craziness which… Continue Reading

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Snarky Dating Tips and Advice: “Slow & Low That is the Tempo”

By on July 11, 2013 in Relationships
snarky dating tips image

Since now I am somewhat of an authority on snarky dating tips and advice, I thought I would make a little cheat sheet for SOME things that have come up a lot in my dating life. Read these tips and commit them to your brain. Keep them handy and if you ever doubt me – don’t. I have been there, done that and am trying to save you from unpleasant experiences people. K? Take my dating advice! When going on a date you should follow this snarky dating advice….. Consider the source and place where you met your date. Dog… Continue Reading

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Worst date idea: 4th of July while shoving your face & doing other unattractive things

By on July 4, 2013 in Relationships

Happy Fourth of July to all of my Melanysguydlines.com readers! Thank you for your support and being the best readers ever! A few dating tips for you on this day of fireworks and bad eating! Always remember to stay snarky. Here are few reasons why the Fourth of July is not the best idea for a first date! Take these guydlines and trust me- I have experience in the dating arena (unfortunately). 1. Don’t ever use the pick up line “You want to make fireworks with me?” unless it is on Twitter because you can get away with saying anything… Continue Reading

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Trouble in Online dating part 2,233,557 – Drunk texting at 2AM

By on June 30, 2013 in Relationships

These things only happen to me right? Where do I get rid of my crazy magnet? Online dating is not fun or snarky – again! It sucks. Here is another reason (as if I needed another one). Let me set this up for you – A week ago, I log on to mydatenightmares.com to a really nice email from an equally as nice looking young man (holy shit it is a miracle, right?) So, I do not delay and send my number when he asks for it! And wait…. 1. Nice pics – (no come hither poses on beds or… Continue Reading

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Online Virtual Dating App: At First Sight- will you accept this rose?

By on June 28, 2013 in Relationships

I think I might have to eat my words and try this new dating app from Chris Harrison of “The Bachelor”. You know who he is right? You think he would know a little about dating after doing so many years on that show (which I don’t watch – but my mom loves it???) I obviously (unfortunately) know about dating and online dating nightmares which are not snarky or fun. But, lets weigh my options for trying this new dating app that was launched last week! Something has to work well eventually, right? The new dating app – fittingly called… Continue Reading

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Stay off my online profile MOM

By on May 31, 2013 in Relationships
moms embarassing

I wanted to write something about dating but again, my dating life is slightly boring and totally protected at this point in time. There are a few people I promised I would never write about (unless they did something so ridiculous that it would make it on the “guydlines”) so, unfortunately (for you and not me) there is no fantastic new entry into the hall of shame. Don’t worry; I am sure it won’t be that way for long knowing my amazingly unlucky, luck. However, I have a mother that likes to pry into my business in every which way… Continue Reading

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Beware of the “Frienemy”

By on May 7, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

“Frienemy”. Do you know what that is? Unfortunately, I am sure you do. It is an epidemic in society and has been running rampant for many years. My mother, sister, and I have dealt with it for as long as we can remember and it has probably run in your family as well (if it hasn’t then you are probably THE FRIENEMY and you suck and are dumb so you better take notes). This disease has been infecting poor, sheep-like individuals for so long that Wikipedia has the word in its glossary. That is sad. “Frenemy” (alternately spelled “frienemy”) is… Continue Reading

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Proud to be chosen as the Why Not Girl of the Week! – yours truly

By on May 1, 2013 in Fans, Relationships

A fellow Arizona alumnus has chosen me to be the Why Not Girl of the week on her blog, Why Not Girl! The premise behind the blog is to feature and embrace women who take chances and follow their dreams. I think there is a special message here to any woman choosing to try something new in their lives. It may be taking a new class, moving cities or in my case, starting my own business. Life is about risks and taking chances and we need to embrace change and move forward! Thanks Lauren for choosing me for this week’s… Continue Reading

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I am dating my blog

By on April 16, 2013 in Relationships
Be nice or I will blog about you!

There are people who blog like scrapbooking and people who are working their ass off to TRY and make a living doing it. I never knew that you could make a living from blogging and started with Melanysguydlines.com as a creative and cathartic outlet. But, I really needed a job and guys, I have to make a living and Teddy is hungry. It is not as easy as you think. People ask me what I am doing and trust me – I am working 19+ hour days. I wake up to Melanysguydlines at 5:30 AM, we eat breakfast, shower, shit,… Continue Reading

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Don’t take a chance on dating reunion tours

By on April 11, 2013 in Relationships
not with my ex anymore

  After a quick look through the latest posts it is depressingly obvious that my dating life is non-existent due to the lack of material posted recently. I can’t remember the last time I was actually asked out. I get a lot of  “aren’t you worried that no one will ask you out because of your blog” and requests from guys from my past asking to meet for lunch but no follow up. I just don’t understand men today. Even if we are to become friends, shouldn’t you still follow up after the initial email? Are you all really scared… Continue Reading

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