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Kevin Ware’s Injury : A Breakdown

By on April 1, 2013 in Fans, Snarky

Every day — whether I’m conscious of it or not — is an effort to avoid passing out.  You see, I deal with an incredibly mild, and completely self-diagnosed case of anxiety disorder.  My understanding of the term is thin, but I know it involves phobias, breathing into paper bags and Xanax prescriptions.  My issue?  I tend to collapse like somebody pulled my plug when I see shit like I saw on Sunday.  You could have given me a king size Xannie bar, and it would have had no affect when I saw poor Kevin Ware’s leg snap like something… Continue Reading

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Matt’s Bio

By on April 1, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

That being said, one thing we did have was basketball.  The iconic, sepia-toned shots of Hoops hanging on barns.  Hoosiers for Christ sakes.  So when a bleach blonde, Beverly Hills sucker wanted to wax poetic about her perspective on roundball, I’m licking my chops.  Enter Arizona Wildcat basketball fanatic Melany G.  I wrote a piece that can be found RIGHT HERE that came to Melany’s attention, and as fate would have it, I hardly mention her team from Tucson.  In fact, I dive head first into denouncing Pac-12 teams in general, dismissing the current state of West Coast hoops as… Continue Reading

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Sweet Sixteen Ain’t So Sweet For Me

By on April 1, 2013 in Fans, Snarky

So, as you all know my Arizona Wildcats lost (got robbed by terrible officiating) in the Sweet Sixteen last week. But, just attending such sporting events always makes for good people watching (bashing). I need to send a special shout out to the couple in front of me (who probably paid $1000 a ticket). The woman was more interested in reading the Wall Street Journal by holding the paper directly above her head to read it (holding it straight in front of her eyes was just not good enough). I can tell her exactly what she was reading and she… Continue Reading

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March madness-Another opinion

By on March 28, 2013 in Fans, Snarky

So, this is clearly not my opinion but we welcome people with strong opinions at MG. I was sent this blog by “you know who” and thought that it should be given a chance to be read. You know that I am going to be cheering loud and proud from my Arizona Wildcats today at the Sweet Sixteen game! GO CATS. But, here is something for you people with other (wrong) opinions! CLICK HERE TO JOIN TOURNAMENT PICK ‘EM League ID: 158704 Password: basketballbros (Did you click it? Because the whole point of this post is so we can all… Continue Reading

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Rock! Rock! Til You Drop

By on March 26, 2013 in Music Biz, Snarky
Bring back rock n roll!

The week of Passover and Easter is upon us and I really need some rock n’ roll in my life right now. That ALWAYS seems to (almost) cure feelings of disappointment in the people and situations around me. This year is no different; it is TIME to go back to Las Vegas for Def Leppard in my ears and rock in my veins. One thing is for sure; they were no one hit wonder! (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Go Hack Yourself

By on March 21, 2013 in Dummies, Snarky

Dear hacker losers that have nothing better to do than try and hack my blog: Get over it! I am no longer playing these dumb games and have moved on to super duty protection on melanysguydlines.com. The Secret Service has been notified and we are taking very good care of those boys (they like their Grey Goose sodas and techno music – just saying). Consider this a little warning to you (or multiple shitheads) trying to hack my site. My dog does bite. He might look cuddly and fluffy but when instructed he will take off a limb (I choose… Continue Reading

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I’m not making this up

By on March 18, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

I want a girl I can wake up next to the next morning and not be horrified to see in daylight. After reading Melany’s post about dumb people and terrible beauty advice the other day, I’d like to offer some makeup tips of my own: ladies, ditch the clown paint.

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Sin City: Best Massage Nuts and Basketballs

By on March 12, 2013 in Fans, Snarky
Nuts?

Here is a little piece I wrote for Travelvegas.com about the upcoming Pac 12 tournament in Las Vegas this week. I have a lot of readers that attended Pac 12 schools, are fellow Arizona Wildcats fans, or just love to eat, drink, party and be entertained in Las Vegas (shocker). Anyone going? I would be there but I am still trying to put my brain back in my head from my trip to Austin, Texas for the SXSW conference (yeah, not sure why they call it a conference because the only work I got done was trying to see how… Continue Reading

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Beware of dumb people bleach: It is bad for my health

By on March 6, 2013 in Dummies, Snarky
Some blondes can't even spell college!

Here is a little story I could not resist telling you. Today, I went and got my hair done at a salon in Beverly Hills and overheard a conversation that solidifies the need to have a dumb person category on the blog. There are just way too many dumb people in this world and I seem to attract all of them! The bright side of being a dumb person flytrap is that all of the dumb people offer me great funny dumb people stories for all of you to enjoy. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Dixon’s dating and dining desires

By on March 1, 2013 in Relationships

Once I’m in a committed relationship with a beautiful woman (or at least committed to spending time trying to get her in the sack), I love bringing food into the mix. I’m not talking about food entering the boudoir unless it’s room service after a 24-hour Vegas bender – I’m talking about dinner dates.

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American Idol: Nicki Minaj or Fran Drescher’s “The Nanny”

By on March 1, 2013 in Music Biz, Snarky
Nicki Minaj - not as a good of a rapper as the tootsie roll wrapper

I can barely watch American Idol this year. Just listening to Nikki Minaj’s voice makes me want to jump out my window. The show with Fran Drescher, The Nanny– yeah, that is what Nikki sounds like. Since when does she have the proper credentials to judge someone on their singing voice when she can’t sing (or speak in a somewhat tolerable voice?) One hit wonder is more like it! She should stick to creating edible hair and using Crayolas to draw on her face. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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