Top

Subscribe!

Melanysguydlines for a Shorty Award: Blogger

By on January 29, 2014 in Goodies

I need to win a Shorty award because I am short! I am also – funny and snarky….or so I am told. Shorty Awards acknowledge the best is social media and this is right up my alley You know? Snarky is witty but younger and better looking!? This blog is my cathartic outlet and I use laughter as the best medicine. I am so excited and honored to have been nominated over 130 times in the blogger category (even got a few in Comedian but blogger is what I want). Thank you! There are a bunch of other snarky reasons… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 8

Grammys: Sink or Swim?

By on January 26, 2014 in LALA Land, Snarky

I wake up this morning and am super pissed that I don’t have a Master Card in my wallet. Actually, I am also a little irritated with my wallet staying out all weekend at a friend’s house. I left my wallet there on Thursday and have been confined to the house and sustaining on left over Halloween candy since I have no MONEY to buy any food. It is ok but I am going to be pissed if I can’t fit into my outfit for tonight. Oh that is right? A pair of tickets to the Grammys, preshow and after… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 12

Snark Queen/Melanysguydlines on the Modern Dater K-HOW

By on January 20, 2014 in Relationships

There is so much going on with Melanysguydlines and it is great! I have been appointed as the Snark Queen from Beverly Hills for my relationship and dating advice! If you have not heard (then you have been under a rock)  – I was on the radio this past weekend! Radio is near and dear to my heart as most of you know that I used to promote all of your favorite rock bands on radio. But, this time I was not asked to promote Van Halen or Velvet Revolver but ME and Melanysguydlines. The Modern Dater show is in… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 14

$200 RETRO BRAND Gear Giveaway!

By on January 17, 2014 in Goodies

Exciting news today! So, you all know that I am a rocker, love college basketball (especially my #1 Arizona Wildcats), pop-culture, baseball and beer! That is a given. For a while now, I have been a HUGE fan of a clothing company that was created by a fellow University of Arizona Wildcat alumnus, Marc Herman. Marc’s company, Retro Brand produces KICK ASS gear for snarky people like you and me! Retro Brand and Melanysguydlines are giving you the chance to win $200 buckeroos to buy whatever your little heart desires on their site!  THIS IS AWESOME! I have a bunch… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 179

Bye Cold But, I’m Keeping the Funny, Sexy Voice!

By on January 15, 2014 in Relationships
Prince charming is living with mr right

I am back from Vegas and have a cold. It is not fantastic because I am still hungry but can’t taste anything so forget about losing weight while sitting here with my thumb up my ass.  It is not awesomely dehydrating like the stomach flu where you magically lose 5 pounds. It is more like I am bloated like a puffer fish from the sodium in soup I have been ordering from the local LA Delicatessens. At least I have been able to catch up on taxes, which may actually be the worst thing in life besides moving or a… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 4

SodaStream: Scarlett Johansson as Brand Amabassador

By on January 13, 2014 in Goodies, LALA Land

You know I get some very interesting press releases about new products and happenings in Hollywood but last week I got something super fun! I was given an exclusive invite to the red carpet event announcing the first Brand Ambassador for SodaStream! Of course, with a pitch like: “ SodaStream, the leading manufacturer and distributor of home carbonation beverage systems, is about to announce a new partnership with an A list celebrity that will give George Clooney (Nespresso) and Jennifer Aniston (smart water) a run for their money. The new brand ambassador will also be the star of the much anticipated SodaStream… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 17

Bitch on Plane & Graziano Mob Wives Meat Cleavers?

By on January 10, 2014 in Relationships
get off cell phone

Follow my blog with Bloglovin Hello, hello! I am back in LALAland and just in time to rock out to some 80’s rock n’ roll tonight! Stephen Pearcy from Ratt and roll is playing at the Whisky and how could I miss it? Well I am not! I lucked out and jumped on an earlier plane yesterday so that I could get home and apply all the new social media and blogging knowledge to this blog! Of course, I had a lady on my plane who thought that she was the only person on the aircraft. She was no Alec… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 8

Snarky Relationship & Social Media Tips from Vegas

By on January 7, 2014 in Relationships

I am deliriously typing this from Las Vegas and rocking out to Metallica on 92.3 KOMP (which is now giving me an aggressive burst of energy). So, please forgive me for the briefness and random nature of the post. I do love Las Vegas but unfortunately when people tell me that I will find love when I least expect it – they LIE! I have been here for almost 7 days, not looking and found nada. So – boo! Oh, and please stop asking single people, “Why are you still single?” because if you do, I give them all permission… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 8

WIN Beats by Dre Wireless Headphones

By on January 3, 2014 in Goodies

Greetings from Las Vegas! I am here in sin city getting my blogging nerd on but did not forget about my favorite people! I asked, you replied and I listened for what you wanted most for the next giveaway. And without further adieu… A little birdy gave me wireless headphones – aka “Beats by Dre” and they are amazing if I do say so myself. Color black and so fantastic. All the controls are from the headset and they are yours to win and rock like a champ. You know how much I love my music and this is a… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 160

Happy New Year 2014: With or Without Resolutions

By on December 31, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships
Happy New Year 2014: With or Without Resolutions

Happy New Year! Welcome 2014! I am so happy that I am not going to be hung-over, broke, waking up next to a goat or hungry from celebrating getting ripped off on New Years Eve (aka amateur hour). Not sure what the fascination is about going out to celebrate a day in the month of a calendar with 365 days? Yes, I realize that I sound like my parents. Cheers to getting another year older, wiser, and a little bit more in love with my couch. Shouldn’t we celebrate everyday? I know some of you reading this may be drunk,… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 22

Happy Holidays, Congrats & Giveaways for 2014!

By on December 27, 2013 in Goodies
happy holidays and congrats

Happy “weird days between Christmas and New Years Day where no one is really working” and I missed the memo! I just realized that I have been working for the last two hours without the sweet tunes of Tesla or Ratt in my ears so I am going to make this short and sweet (like Teddy Brewski and I). Congratulations to Laurel from WA! She is the winner of the Kindle Fire HD! I am so stoked for her! Thank you to EVERYONE who entered, supported, commented, liked, followed, and rocked this contest! I am on my way to send… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 4

Being Single for the Holidays-Yeah?!

By on December 23, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships
Being single for the holidays

  Happy holidays MG fans! Wishing you the most wonderful holiday (whatever holiday it is that you celebrate without offending you). A fellow blogger asked me to write a piece about what it is like being single during the holidays and  I know a thing or two about this topic (unfortunately or fortunately). Thanks Karen -for the great topic. This is one of my favorites!   In a perfect world I would love to have a kickass companion, boyfriend, mate, or husband along with a perfectly trained dog to spend the holidays with (aren’t they the same? No? Oh). In… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 18