Funny Lifestyle & Relationship Blog With A Snarky Twist: MelanysGuydlines

Grab mike’s hard lemonade & join the Tw’elf Re-Gift-O-Rama

By Melany on December 23, 2014 in Goodies

If you have been following me on social media you know that my holiday season has been filled with gift guides, shopping, moving, remodeling, partying, and entertaining which only means one thing: I need a drink or an entire party pack for me, myself, and I (and my friends)! I know just the party pack. Have you guys seen the mike’s hard 12 bottles variety pack aka “Tw’elf pack” yet? Have you seen the mike’s hard @mhl 12 bottles variety pack aka “Tw’elf pack” yet? Click To Tweet The party pack is 12 bottles of all the best flavors of… Continue Reading

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Tis’ the Season To Shop! Snarky Holiday Gift Guide 2014 PART II

By Melany on December 9, 2014 in Goodies

What did you think of the first part to the gift guide? I thought so? So, now you are pruned and need to get moving out of that hot tub! Time is a wasting and you have places to go and people to impress. Grab the Good Earth Beauty Exclusive products from the natural online beauty and grooming retailer Good Earth Beauty and get yourself scrubbed and prepped for the evening from their shampoos to body washes so that you can smell like heaven. My two favs are the lip scrub which I could definitely eat – it smells that… Continue Reading

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Tis’ the Season To Shop! Snarky Holiday Gift Guide 2014 PART I

By Melany on December 4, 2014 in Goodies

Tis th Season to shop: Snarky Holiday Gift guide 2014

In the spirit of the shopping madness that has become more important to some people than turkey stuffing or football, without further adieu let me present you with my snarky shopping guide. Currently, I am in the process of moving, remodeling my new place, running this blog, and I think I feel a sniffle but I always have time to stay snarky and present you with the coolest products and events that come across my laptop. Plus, I love to shop and am a total product nut so it is not too difficult to do. This year is a bit… Continue Reading

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The Dumbest, Smart Place in the World: The Curse Of Levi’s Stadium

By Melany on November 29, 2014 in Snarky

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and enjoyed family, friends, turkey and football! I did but had an experience that I need to share with you because it was too funny not to write about. Here are my tips for the next time you attend a football game on Thanksgiving Day anywhere in the US but especially at Levi’s Stadium in aka the home of the San Francisco 49ers. TIP 1 – When going to the new Levi’s Stadium to watch the SF 49ers play (get beat up) on Thanksgiving day, make sure you take a bus and… Continue Reading

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Don’t Be A Turkey: Vote For Me!

By Melany on November 26, 2014 in Snarky

This year has been absolutely insane for MelanysGuydlines. I can not thank you all enough for supporting me through this snarky journey! It is a labor of love, a lot of hard work, very little sleep and I need an assistant BUT it is all worth it! I mean really – THANK YOU to all of those that support and those who don’t, what is wrong with you? Don’t worry, I know you will need me sooner or later. I mean, I need new haters because they all like me now. Is that snarky enough for you? I need new… Continue Reading

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Win Official Lucky Star from International Star Registry ® : 2 Winners, $110 Value

By Melany on November 19, 2014 in Goodies

win or buy a star from the International star registry

It is that time of year where we are all scrambling to find the perfect gift. Of course, you could buy someone flowers or give them chocolate but why not go to the extra mile? Like all the way to the Cosmos in our galaxy better known as the Milky Way. I mean – how cool is that? Did you know that you could officially name a star? The International Star Registry ® can make this dream come true for you. All I had to do when naming my star was decide on the name. This could be anyone –… Continue Reading

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You Had Me At Wine In Paradise: Red Stitch Wine Event At Sanctuary On Camelback Mountain

By Melany on November 16, 2014 in Goodies

Red Stitch Wine Event & Chef Beau Macmillian at the Sanctuary Camelback Hotel

This post is easy to write. The only part that would make it better is if I could do these things all over again. Do you think we could rewind the clock back a week or so just for me? Please? I have been a good girl! If I can’t do that then I will settle for sharing my must see, must eat, must drink and must travel things with you…well, that YOU MUST DO ASAP! Travel to Scottsdale Arizona and stay at the Sanctuary on Camelback Mountain. I received a press release about a Red Stitch wine event at… Continue Reading

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Win $315 Monat Hair Care Package: The Natural & Healthy Hair Revolution

By Melany on November 12, 2014 in Goodies

Last week I introduced you to Hairfinity Hair Vitamins, which gives hair healthy nourishment from the inside out. So, why not let you in on another little secret to my healthy hair and what I use on the outside to achieve my voluptuous locks? Introducing MONAT Hair! The Monat hair care line is a naturally based and contains oils that help hair grow thicker, longer, stronger, healthy and youthful with long-lasting results. We all want that right? Especially, since the weather is turning cold and our hair, skin and nails are thirsty and not for Grey Goose. What can we do to… Continue Reading

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The Higher The Hair The Closer To Healthy: Hairfinity

By Melany on November 7, 2014 in Goodies

Summer is now officially gone (well, almost even though it was in the 80’s in Arizona yesterday). I love the sun…like a lot, a lot but not in I rolled around in a bag of Dorritos kind of way. Side note: please chill on the self-tanner ladies and if you must rub yourself orange – blend it, k? No one likes to see streaks on the back of your legs. It is inevitable that when the weather changes not only do I lose my tan but my skin and nails take a hit as well. Haven’t you noticed that… Continue Reading

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Yakety-Yack: Talkin’ Behind Your Back

By Melany on November 5, 2014 in Snarky

Life is so strange. As soon as you are up something may knock you down. I am not talking about physically (yet some hangovers can be worse than others). What I am talking about is when you hear a rumor about yourself that you never knew before a.k.a. someone is talking behind your back? Why do people do this? Jealousy? Envy? Nothing better to do? No life? Needs (more) friends. Needs a better job. Needs to get on more social media. I am not one to shy away from contacting people straight away when I hear my name in other… Continue Reading

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Happy Halloween-ie: Dress Like A Slut Day

By Melany on October 31, 2014 in Snarky

Happy Halloween-ie to all of you! Halloween or Hoe-loween has become such a weird and slightly disturbing holiday. I don’t know when it became the norm to feel the need to wear less than ample amount of clothing on October 31st, but most feel the urge to do so. I (think I helped) coin the term “Dress Like A Slut Day” last year during one of my most watched YouTube videos because I am always honest and lets call a spade a spade, right? Now, it is funny (or sad) that #dresslikeaslutday is a hashtag on twitter. Now, it is… Continue Reading

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It’s A Bird, It’s A Plane, It’s A Zeusvision Bus : Larger Than Life Creative Ads For You & Me

By Melany on October 28, 2014 in Goodies

A few weeks ago, I was introduced to the world of Zeusvision and their ginormous buses. You’ve seen outdoor advertising in many places? Those annoying looped vids in Las Vegas taxis that repeat the most annoying ads for huge companies with no relation to the person viewing in the cab. What about those billboards in NY or LA that stay up for too long? Can you say a decaying, Thanksgiving ad that still hangs above the House of Blues on Sunset Blvd. when Santa is coming down the chimney for his milk and cookies Christmas Day? Have you ever wanted… Continue Reading