Melany's Posts

I Swiped Right On Your Face Because

I totally swiped right on your face because you have/are: 1. A clear mugshot as your main profile photo. 2. Posing with the infamous hand on your hip pose to hide whatever you think you are hiding but are not and everyone knows it. 3. A selfie of you in the gym sans sleeves and wired headphones in your ears with a perfectly pressed shirt. 4. Failed to fill out the one and only question listed on the app. 5. A picture with a bunch of ladies surrounding you. 6. A picture with a bunch of guys so I have… Continue Reading

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Win A 9 Foot FUNBOY Yacht Pool Float With Cooler For 2

Happy dog days of summer! I wish I was on a boat on a tropical island with a NICE young man feeding me frozen grapes and filling a never ending glass full of fruity, frothy, alcoholic beverages with a little umbrella in them, but I am not. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t turn the hot summer days into my own little fun in my backyard with my menagerie, Teddy Brewski and friends right? As you all know I love my pool floats and have become quite the float aficionado and collector. They are great party toys, perfect accessories for… Continue Reading

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Dating & Texting No No’s: Call Me If You Aren’t Amphibian or Reptilian

Gentlemen. If you really want to get to know a girl better and perhaps go on a date, incessant texting lengthy interview-like questions is not going to cut it. Don’t have time for that. I type all day. I have around 100k of those types of relationships. Pick up a damn phone. I need to make sure you don’t sound like Kermit. Though, I hear that you need to kiss a lot of frogs. CALL ME if you aren’t amphibian or reptilian. We know I have had plenty of both in my life. CALL ME if you aren’t amphibian or… Continue Reading

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Holy Bullsnake

So, this really happened to me last week! I had a 7 foot snake at my front door in Paradise Valley, Arizona. Thankfully, I was able to rule out that he was not a Rattlesnake but the neighborhood Bullsnake. He is apparently my friend and eats mice, rabbits and even rattlesnakes so we will keep him around. Also, he will keep all the other snakes I date out of the area. I named him Petey after my college boyfriend’s snake, cat and dog. Yes, they were all named Petey! Read all these comments from my facebook post and laugh because… Continue Reading

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Reflect, Respect And #RIPChrisCornell: From A Friend and Fan Who Bleeds Rock N’ Roll

I wrote this Facebook post after learning of Chris Cornell’s untimely passing this week. It received a lot of feedback and comments so I thought I should share it here as well. Read it. Do it. Reflect. Respect. “Do I miss LA and working in the music business? I am asked this ALL the time. That city and the business has taken so much from me and so many I have known and loved along the way. In just the past few years, Glenn Frey, Scott Weiland and now Chris Cornell have all passed and I am proud to say… Continue Reading

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Happy Mother’s Day full of KISSEZZ

Happy and healthy Mother’s Day to the number one mom in the entire world – mine! Since, I can’t be in San Francisco to celebrate the most wonderful mother in the world for Mother’s Day I will start sharing right now! Though, I do not need wait for Mother’s Day to celebrate my mother since I try my best to celebrate her every single day because she is THAT special. Love you more than words and want to wish you a very happy and healthy Mother’s Day!!! Thank you does not say it enough for being my best friend,… Continue Reading

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Fashion: No Mo Boho

Attention Fashion Designers: I am over the “Coachella – inspired” BoHo BS look! 1. Coachella did begin as a concert or a place to hear GOOD music? Correct? Not as a fashion statement. 2. Boho is a no go on most. Word to most – you look like a couch. 3. I left my heart in SF a while ago but pretty sure it wasn’t the 60s. Please! I am so over this look and it is completely contradictory to my ROCKER music taste too btw. So, bring back glamour! I am not sure I would wear my derby day… Continue Reading

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Life Happens

Happy Monday! Just wanted to send a little note here that I did not forget about you but life happens and Teddy Brewski and I have been very busy! He is enjoying his new found fame on social media and his social media posts are exhausting on his paws so I have been helping him type. Make sure you are following him on IG and Twitter @sirteddybrewski. Me: Gone Golfing! Make it a fantastic Monday and a week full of puppy kisses! Stay tuned and snark on. **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Paws Up, Tail Wagging: Nature’s Recipe Now Available At Walmart

*This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Nature’s Recipe®. The opinions and text are all mine. **I was recently asked by Nature’s Recipe to create some unique tips for using a product and I wanted to share with you. I watch what I eat so of course I only feed Teddy Brewski healthy, beneficial food that keeps him in great shape. He is my best friend and by far the most loyal companion, so his health is important to me so that we can share many years of running around, playing and making snarky barky videos… Continue Reading

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Win $1250 Kristals Cosmetics: Pearl Extra Firming Neck And Chest Kit

Happy Spring days remind me that summer is nearly upon us! I can’t believe how fast this year has flown by. Can you? But, you know what warmer weather means? It means it is time to amp up that gym routine, step away from the cupcakes and get your skin looking beautiful because a lot less clothing is in all of our futures (and hopefully a beach with a nice looking young man serving me a Mai Tai or 3 with a little umbrella in it). Yes. Putting away those coats and turtlenecks means less places to hide trouble areas… Continue Reading

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Just In Time For March Madness: Melany Berger On Cats In The Corner Office

It is my favorite time of year! The weather is amazing (maybe a little toastier than usual in Arizona reaching 95 and 96 degrees the past few days), Spring Training Baseball in the Valley of the Sun (Go Giants) and March Madness College Basketball all over the country. Plus, I just returned from watching my University of Arizona Wildcats win the PAC 12 tournament in Las Vegas and we are already well into the March Madness tournament playing in the Sweet Sixteen tomorrow. Woohoo! Go CATS! BEARDOWN. March 1 is the day that I was interviewed by the Arizona Alumni… Continue Reading

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I Met Wilbur The Porcupine At Out Of Africa Wildlife Park

I am going to cheer on my Arizona Wildcats for the Pac 12 basketball tournament but before I go I wanted to share the cutest video of another Wilbur I met while at the Out Of Africa Wildlife Park in Camp Verde, Arizona a week ago. Meet Wilbur the porcupine. He is adorable and an Internet sensation with over 10 million views and counting! You might have seen him eating a banana? Or maybe this video of us on the Out of Africa Wildlife Park Facebook page that has nearly 10k views? Thank you for sharing!! If you missed it,… Continue Reading

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