Melany's Posts

Sin City: Best Massage Nuts and Basketballs

Here is a little piece I wrote for Travelvegas.com about the upcoming Pac 12 tournament in Las Vegas this week. I have a lot of readers that attended Pac 12 schools, are fellow Arizona Wildcats fans, or just love to eat, drink, party and be entertained in Las Vegas (shocker). Anyone going? I would be there but I am still trying to put my brain back in my head from my trip to Austin, Texas for the SXSW conference (yeah, not sure why they call it a conference because the only work I got done was trying to see how… Continue Reading

Continue Reading 0

Beware of dumb people bleach: It is bad for my health

Here is a little story I could not resist telling you. Today, I went and got my hair done at a salon in Beverly Hills and overheard a conversation that solidifies the need to have a dumb person category on the blog. There are just way too many dumb people in this world and I seem to attract all of them! The bright side of being a dumb person flytrap is that all of the dumb people offer me great funny dumb people stories for all of you to enjoy. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

Continue Reading 12

American Idol: Nicki Minaj or Fran Drescher’s “The Nanny”

Nicki Minaj - not as a good of a rapper as the tootsie roll wrapper

I can barely watch American Idol this year. Just listening to Nikki Minaj’s voice makes me want to jump out my window. The show with Fran Drescher, The Nanny– yeah, that is what Nikki sounds like. Since when does she have the proper credentials to judge someone on their singing voice when she can’t sing (or speak in a somewhat tolerable voice?) One hit wonder is more like it! She should stick to creating edible hair and using Crayolas to draw on her face. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

Continue Reading 5

Dixon Richard From a guy’s perspective for the “guy’d”lines. Our “guy’d” blogger

Meet Dixon Richard – Our “guy’d” blogger Dixon Richard is a 34-year old, single man, based in Chicago. He is originally from Brooklyn and has not lost his edge from moving to the Midwest. When not checking out the local music scene for up and coming acts, he enjoys spending time with his pup GG (Grey Goose abbreviated – good man). (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

Continue Reading 0

One Hit Wonder Rihanna: Former musician, queen of shitty Instagram and slutty runway shows

Close your eyes and try to remember the first time you heard Rihanna and didn’t get her confused with some cookie-cutter American transplant pop stars (whether or not you have working ears and a halfway decent taste in music is beside the point, but I will judge you regardless). **Stay snarky my friends!**

Continue Reading 2

Melanysguydlines 2.0 Oscar Style -All snark, all true. One hit wonder too!

You all already know me from melanysguydlines.com but I thought it was about time that I step out from behind my avatar’s shadow and introduce the REAL Mel G and Teddy B. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

Continue Reading 6

Hall of Shame-Dating Story #1

A little follow up to my last post about Valentines Day possibly being the worst dating holiday of the year (promise not to discuss this for another year). Of course, me being ME – I did receive a weird pre-Valentine message from some dumb guy that would not stop texting me from the moment I (accidently) gave him my number (months ago). (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

Continue Reading 11

Money Date in Vegas – Valentines Day

Here is a little piece I wrote for Travelvegas.com. Now, these are what I call great Valentines Dates! HELLO – YOU! Are you ready to be my Valentine this year? Come on! I don’t always bite (only unless you ask). These dates will get you where you want to go. Trust me and take notes! I am accepting applications now. GO! (Hopefully it will not take me that long to get a GREAT date). (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

Continue Reading 4

Golf: the George Clooney of sports events

Yes! Golf: the George Clooney of sports events. You know? Gets better with age. Now you try? Anyway, I wanted to post this a long time ago! Since most of you know, some dumbass decided to hack the site and has thrown everything off a bit. It went a little something like this…. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

Continue Reading 8

Contest Winners

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Winner of the Super Bowl contest is Steven Berman!!! Here is the quote that won the $200 prize to NFLshop.com. I think he will buy some Niner or San Francisco Giants gear! (Just a guess!) Next time, I promise not to make the contest so complicated. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

Continue Reading 2

SUPERBOWL CONTEST= FREE STUFF $$$

Prize worth up to $100!!! I have wanted to give back to all my wonderful supporters for a while now. I am cooking up a great surprise for ALL of you in the next few weeks and actually want the prize myself. But, in the meantime we have a little wager going here at melanysguydlines.com and want to know which MG’s Avatar picture you like the best. If you could not tell, we are creative people and super passionate about a few things: Humor, music, and SPORTS! The contest is as follows: (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

Continue Reading 7

Super Bowl XLVII-Die Hards v. Bandwagon fans

Yeah! My 49ers are in the Super Bowl. I am very excited – but, for REAL. I was born and raised a San Francisco 49er fan and cheer them on win, lose, or draw. I have never been a fair-weather fan. Actually, I am not fond of bandwagon jumpers, period. Sure, it sucked standing outside last year in a full body sized, clear, condom, doubling as a rain parka with ripped pockets allowing the pouring rain in and soaking (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

Continue Reading 36