Melany's Posts

One hit wonder of the week: Reese Witherspoon

Why, Reese? Why? You had everything. You had a well-deserved title as an all-American girl, the healthiest blonde locks in Hollywood and the best Southern twang I’ve heard in a long time. Then you dyed your hair dirt brown, married a no name and got yourself arrested for being a rude, inconsiderate drunkard. I never thought you’d be on my one hit wonder list, but your behavior earns you a top spot on today’s agenda. I’ll give it to you straight, Reese. I expected better from you. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s celebrities who think they’re above… Continue Reading

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ENTER CONTEST TO WIN TRIP TO LAS VEGAS HERE:

Want to get lucky? Me too. I think I may be able to help you out. How about a weekend in Las Vegas on your favorite snarky blog – Melanysguydlines.com and sponsors; Travelvegas.com and ICJUK/ Inspired By Claire Jane? And now, our special sponsor rockstars – Toadhopnetwork PRIZE: LAS VEGAS WEEKEND – 2 nights stay at The Signature at the MGM Grand Hotel. You will live like royalty in this luxurious suite with sweeping balcony views. May 31, 2013-Jun 2, 2013. -Cabana at The Signature private pool for all three days where you can soak up as much or as… Continue Reading

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The “Blondetourage” welcomes the Dark Side -Emily S.

There is more exciting news for Melanysguydlines.com this week! Not only were we chosen to be a part of Blogads Network; home to Perez Hilton, Lamebook, Dlisted, and Popoholic but we have added a new blogger. What makes our new blogger, Emily S. different from the rest? She is a brunette (but we won’t hold that against her because blondes totally have more fun) and she is a Los Angeles native. She brings us some juicy dirt on growing up in the entertainment business – the good, the bad, and the plain weird. We got along from the start as… Continue Reading

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I am dating my blog

There are people who blog like scrapbooking and people who are working their ass off to TRY and make a living doing it. I never knew that you could make a living from blogging and started with Melanysguydlines.com as a creative and cathartic outlet. But, I really needed a job and guys, I have to make a living and Teddy is hungry. It is not as easy as you think. People ask me what I am doing and trust me – I am working 19+ hour days. I wake up to Melanysguydlines at 5:30 AM, we eat breakfast, shower, shit,… Continue Reading

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Don’t take a chance on dating reunion tours

After a quick look through the latest posts it is depressingly obvious that my dating life is non-existent due to the lack of material posted recently. I can’t remember the last time I was actually asked out. I get a lot of “aren’t you worried that no one will ask you out because of your blog” and requests from guys from my past asking to meet for lunch but no follow up. I just don’t understand men today. Even if we are to become friends, shouldn’t you still follow up after the initial email? Are you all really scared… Continue Reading

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Paranormal Movie Out Today: So funny it’s scary

“Hello – yeah, ummmm WHAT? You want to film a movie at my house, uhhhh YEAH –hello?’ True conversation that happened right before my life got weird(er) and Kevin Farley’s film, “Paranormal Movie” moved into my home. Yes, the entire movie and everyone in my house, with ME. The producers told me the movie was going to be easy and that they didn’t need to bother the city of Beverly Hills with “all that crap”. So, when I opened my front door and saw a Pepsi semi-trailer-truck in my driveway preparing to unload enough soda to quench the thirst of… Continue Reading

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Melanysguydlines.com Team: Snarky true life experts

Yesterday, the Melanysguydlines.com team met for the fist time at the Roosevelt Hotel Pool in Hollywood for a windy and long lunch (with beer and grey goose sodas). I am so proud of what has been accomplished here in under a year! This process has been hard work but I am starting to see it pay off! I hope that you have enjoyed my journey thus far and continue to laugh with us about the stupidity of people, craziness of life, chaos of dating and navigating this totally trippy world with a huge helping of snark. Life is too hard… Continue Reading

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MG’s house of snark: Welcomes intern Libby D

I am so proud to tell you all that the Melanysguydlines.com family is growing in leaps and bounds. Since I only lasted in my sorority for a week (because I didn’t care what way food needed to be passed around a table and was a horrible follower) it is only fitting that I have a pledge in the MG house. I am going to rush her like she should be rushed and groom her to be the best MG mini me ever! We hope that she can stay a while but are happy to have her for as long as… Continue Reading

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Foo Fighters: Wins for no talent, bad chops, & worst band name ever!

I was not impressed or excited to hear that Dave Grohl was talking and playing SXSW in Austin, which is one of the biggest music festivals of the year. I just don’t get it. The rock n’ roll community needs to step up and embrace real musicians and good music. Just wander into any bar in Austin, and I guarantee you will find more talent than the Foo Fighters. I saw a girl weighing 95 lbs (soaking wet) rock a bar and schlep a bass around the perimeter for hours during her set. She sang too (and well). Or, what… Continue Reading

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Sweet Sixteen Ain’t So Sweet For Me

So, as you all know my Arizona Wildcats lost (got robbed by terrible officiating) in the Sweet Sixteen last week. But, just attending such sporting events always makes for good people watching (bashing). I need to send a special shout out to the couple in front of me (who probably paid $1000 a ticket). The woman was more interested in reading the Wall Street Journal by holding the paper directly above her head to read it (holding it straight in front of her eyes was just not good enough). I can tell her exactly what she was reading and she… Continue Reading

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Rock! Rock! Til You Drop

The week of Passover and Easter is upon us and I really need some rock n’ roll in my life right now. That ALWAYS seems to (almost) cure feelings of disappointment in the people and situations around me. This year is no different; it is TIME to go back to Las Vegas for Def Leppard in my ears and rock in my veins. One thing is for sure; they were no one hit wonder! (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Go Hack Yourself

Dear hacker losers that have nothing better to do than try and hack my blog: Get over it! I am no longer playing these dumb games and have moved on to super duty protection on melanysguydlines.com. The Secret Service has been notified and we are taking very good care of those boys (they like their Grey Goose sodas and techno music – just saying). Consider this a little warning to you (or multiple shitheads) trying to hack my site. My dog does bite. He might look cuddly and fluffy but when instructed he will take off a limb (I choose… Continue Reading

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