Melany's Posts

AllTwitter, AllFacebook, ALL Nerds Part 1 – #nerdsdoitbetter or not?

I decided to take a break from LALA land to attend the AllFacebook and AllTwitter Marketing conference in the land of people who make too much money and feel extremely entitled (a.k.a. I would never touch them with a 10 foot pole because I am not attracted to nerds who are assholes because they were so nerdy when they were young and have to overcompensate now that they have money) or the social media community. After spending almost a week in San Francisco I did not conclude that in fact #nerdsdoitbetter. They just don’t. I thought I should give you… Continue Reading

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IT’S MELANYSGUYDLINES AND MY BIRTHDAY WEEK SNARKY BITCHES!

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY AND WE ARE CELEBRATING ONE YEAR FOR MELANYSGUYDLINES.COM!! I CANT BELIEVE HOW FAR WE HAVE COME IN A SHORT YEAR. IT HAS BEEN A LOT OF HARD WORK, SWEAT, TEARS, LAUGHTER, AND SOME OTHER (@!@#$#$%) WORDS! “What a Long Strange Trip It Has Been” – ain’t that the truth? But only SNARKY bitches get an entire birthday WEEK! Hope you have taken away a few good “guydlines” for your life that make you laugh! They have helped me digest this crazy life that CHOSE me. It keeps getting weirder every day and I never have a… Continue Reading

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Stay off my online profile MOM

I wanted to write something about dating but again, my dating life is slightly boring and totally protected at this point in time. There are a few people I promised I would never write about (unless they did something so ridiculous that it would make it on the “guydlines”) so, unfortunately (for you and not me) there is no fantastic new entry into the hall of shame. Don’t worry; I am sure it won’t be that way for long knowing my amazingly unlucky, luck. However, I have a mother that likes to pry into my business in every which way… Continue Reading

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Spoof on Hot Guy Marketing Trend- Meet Josh Button

Before you embark on your long Memorial Day weekend festivities, I wanted to leave you with a big smile on your face and I know exactly how to do that! This may be my favorite request so far and I could not turn down this opportunity. I am single (still)! Here you go….. Introducing, Josh Button – model, spicy food addict, dog lover, and a HOT GUY. I’m sure you’ve noticed all of the companies using hot guys to market to women, even when their products don’t seem to require a hot guy. DIET Dr Pepper’s new spot, “Josh Button,”… Continue Reading

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Relationships, matchmakers, babies and aliens?

I just can’t get on top of my work but am so excited to be presented with a lot of snarky opportunities that I will be able to share like my upcoming interview with a top Matchmaker for VIP and celebrity clients. Her name is Sherri Murphy and her Elite agency matched up the infamous Latoya Jackson on the OWN network (heard of Oprah before?). I am a little leery of matchmakers. You remember my experience with a matchmaker and how I was set up with a guy who played for the other team? Hope Sherri does a better job… Continue Reading

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This Rocks – Monster Energy Outbreak College Nor/So Cal dates

As most of you know, my heart pumps to the beat of music and I bleed rock n roll! My background is rock music and I have been blessed to work with some very cool (and some not so cool) bands along the way. I know you enjoy reading about my trials and tribulations working in music business and I can tell you that there are a lot more blog posts about past music experiences to follow. But, one of the coolest parts about this blogging journey is that new and amazing opportunities present themselves each and every day. Some… Continue Reading

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Create a Match.com Summer Singles Event & WIN – CONTEST

You know how much melanysguydlines.com loves giving away free stuff! So, here is another opportunity for you! I am so excited to have been asked to promote the one- year anniversary Stir Events by Match.com contest “What stirs you? Create a Match.com Summer Singles Event and Win” opportunity! Wow – that is a long title, but do you know what that means? It means that you have the chance to celebrate Stir’s successful singles events by entering to win the prospect of being an event planner for the day and create the most amazing singles event for eligible men and… Continue Reading

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Congratulations to Alison Maria aka relation_shits

CONGRATULATIONS to our winner of the Las Vegas contest! She really hit the Jackpot!! I love her snarky attitude and appreciate her entry! Thank you so much. I am pleased to announce the following person has won a long and hard fight for the amazing Las Vegas weekend prize. Help me congratulate – Alison Maria aka @relation_shits from Twitter!! Here is the winning/snarky/humorous #guydline: Always ending up with the brides bouquets but never the man. Flowers, those are easy to catch. Guys, not so much… (49%, 321 Votes) Thank you so much for your participation and I wish you lots… Continue Reading

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Beware of the “Frienemy”

“Frienemy”. Do you know what that is? Unfortunately, I am sure you do. It is an epidemic in society and has been running rampant for many years. My mother, sister, and I have dealt with it for as long as we can remember and it has probably run in your family as well (if it hasn’t then you are probably THE FRIENEMY and you suck and are dumb so you better take notes). This disease has been infecting poor, sheep-like individuals for so long that Wikipedia has the word in its glossary. That is sad. “Frenemy” (alternately spelled “frienemy”) is… Continue Reading

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Proud to be chosen as the Why Not Girl of the Week! – yours truly

A fellow Arizona alumnus has chosen me to be the Why Not Girl of the week on her blog, Why Not Girl! The premise behind the blog is to feature and embrace women who take chances and follow their dreams. I think there is a special message here to any woman choosing to try something new in their lives. It may be taking a new class, moving cities or in my case, starting my own business. Life is about risks and taking chances and we need to embrace change and move forward! Thanks Lauren for choosing me for this week’s… Continue Reading

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Van Halen in Las Vegas: I am with the band

Ah Las Vegas! I have spent many days and nights in my favorite city doing all types of unimaginable things. One of my most memorable “vacays” in sin city was not a vacation at all. When I worked in the illustrious music business, marketing rock bands, I was presented with an offer “to work” a show that I could not refuse. I am talking about Van Halen people. You know who they are, right? Well, one of the first tours I ever had the privilege of working on was Van Halen (not with Diamond Dave but with the Red Rocker… Continue Reading

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ToadHopNetwork is now a sponsor to the Las Vegas contest #guydlines giveaway!

Toadhopnetwork and Melanysguydlines is sending you to VEGAS!

So, if our contest could not get any sweeter, it just did!!! I am so excited to announce that we have added our special sponsors/rockstar promoters ToadHopNetwork! Now what do you think? Go check out the radio shows on the network. There is something for everyone. Sex, rock (KLOS – Heidi and Frank), geeks, funny…..on and on. I thought that giving my loyal followers and newcomers a chance to win a weekend in Vegas on me would get a lot of entries. But, I have found that running a contest is more challenging than just offering a kick ass prize… Continue Reading

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